Rooting Acacia
by Rionarch
Summary: Post Lust Las Noches is big, they are alone, and, truly, no one cares to look for them. Ichigo, Neliel, Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra live with the fact that they do not matter anymore. No one really cares when monsters are abandoned.
1. The Man Who Had No Where To Go

AN: This story is very much inspired by "The Island of Dr. Moreau" and the movie version of "Planet of the Apes", that being said, it won't be particularly action oriented and more of a human relations story. I hope you enjoy it.

Beta: Confusion no Hime

Chapter One: The Man Who Had No Where To Go

There were broken pieces of the ceiling all around them, the flattest parts showing the same illumination of that giant dome he and Grimmjow fought in; and helped destroy with Ulquiorra. The vertigo he felt when sitting up didn't help the sick feeling in his stomach and the burning up in his throat. It wasn't Ichigo's proudest moment when he lost all that control and attacked everybody. His friends couldn't even look at him in the eye.

Besides the glow in the room all Ichigo could see was the bright white of what was left of the walls and gaps in the roof. It was still night time. He wasn't alone in the room but with his head spinning he hadn't been able to take a good look at who was laying on the floor with him. There were bandages tossed around carelessly and covered in blood, vials and ointments that didn't look familiar, but had the same smell as stuff his dad used in the clinic. It even had the same smell of antiseptic floating around.

"Ah, Ichigo, you're awake. Careful now. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra are still... well they're getting better." The world stood still and he saw the messes to the right of him. There was Grimmjow, covered in blood but looking much better than when he last saw him. Nnoitra's gash through his stomach was almost completely healed. Ichigo couldn't tell how Ulquiorra was. His skin was as white as even, but pink lines that looked like shredded pieces were all over his exposed chest and arms, wrappings were stained with some of the worst spots along his arms.

"But how is he alive?" He didn't want to, but Ichigo remembered almost everything he did up there. He saw Ulquiorra die and disintegrate. Why was he here anyway? Neliel, the one who'd just walked in, sat down next to him and watched the other two in silence. She, too, was looking better than before, considering that she was in her apparently 'normal' age and the crack in her mask was sealed up. The only part that made him feel uncomfortable was how she easily slipped next to him and was in the white outfits of the- of his enemies.

"Inoue did it. While you and that Kenpachi ran off to fight Yammy, she stayed and healed us, your archer friend too. It took her longer but Ulquiorra's body was brought back. Neither of them has woken up since then. Grimmow's going to be just fine. Maybe his pride will be bruised but now he's being a lazy cat." Neliel still wasn't looking at him but made herself comfortable on the sheets laid out for him on the floor. They weren't the only ones here either, now that he was really awake and looking around. Looking anywhere but at the men next to him.

Ichigo saw some of the strangest looking people around in a corner, laid out like dead bodies, including Dordonii. Another corner had the normal sized Yammy just laying there with bits of his arms and legs stitched on. Byakuya, who had joined them fight, and Kenpachi really didn't hold back against him. What happened after then was still fuzzy.

"And everybody else?" He meant his friends and the other Shinigami that came there to help him. Nel obviously didn't.

"We, who are some of the surviving arrancar and the healers, thought that you three had the best chance of making it through. Yammy is basically done for. Even the most optimistic of the healers, Branche, you'd like her, gave up on trying to get him better days ago. The Privaron's over in the other corner aren't much better either. Gantenbainne, the afro haired fellow, looks to be the best. Cirucci is worse off than Yammy. All of her reiatsu was sealed off. Dordonii is barely alive now. So really we're all just waiting for you and the others to wake up and get better." This was obviously their make shift infirmary but Nel still wasn't answering the questions he wanted to know. He knew she liked to play games with people but that was only when things weren't so tense.

"What about Ulquiorra?"

Nel didn't answer and nudged her foot in front of his to show him where Zangetsu was. Whoever had laid them out left their swords nearby.

You know, in case Grimmjow woke up first or something.

"Nel please just tell me what happened?" Ichigo might have felt better but his head was still pounding and everything in his body felt raw and pulled apart. Like if he moved his arms too much, they might just snap off. Worse yet, that his skin would peel off and show the hollow body again.

"No one knows if Ulquiorra is alive. Inoue might have just been able to restore his body after... after what you did to him Ichigo. I didn't think you would be the one to loose it like that." There it was. In a way it was better to hear it from Nel instead of someone else, like his friends and shinigami friends, who couldn't tell when his humanity started and ended.

"But doesn't his blood pump or something? There has to be a way. Does he breathe?" It was incomprehensible that he wanted someone so horrible to still be alive. But if Ulquiorra was still alive then that meant that he could still fix things and make something better. Neliel wasn't so sure about that.

"No. He's always been fairly dead. We'll just have to wait and see." Despite what she said about him Neliel was content to just sit there with Ichigo as he started putting things back together.

She had said that they had been there for days. The last recollections Ichigo had was losing himself at the top of the dome and wrecking everything in sight. Ulquiorra dying had been another clear point; so was him leaving to go fight Yammy while he still could. Somewhere during the flailing the other shinigami arrived. He's seen Byakuya fight the others and only assumed that it was either Hanataro or Unohana healing him but it was possible that it was just in his imagination.

But days had passed since then. No mention of his friends, except Orihime, and absolutely nothing about the shinigami. It wasn't like he expected Nel to get really close with them but she would mention something if they were still here. She must have picked up on Ichigo's discontent because she finally got up from the mat on the floor.

"Come on we should talk more in a better place. There are still sick people here you know." Sighing, Ichigo followed her out of the room and into the hallways that were relatively undamaged. As they got further and further away from the infirmary, the noise level picked up making him feel a bit more at eased with everything. They didn't say much through the trip only passing a few arrancars down the hall. None of them seemed keen on talking for long, especially when they caught sight of him.

"Here, change into something." They got to a room and Ichigo thought he would be able to find it again easily. For how large Las Noches was, it was mostly corridors and large rooms that the hollows usually fought in.

"Uh...Nel, I'm not wearing that." There wasn't anything wrong with the outfit. It actually looked quite comfortable, but he wasn't going to start walking around Aizen's palace in the arrancar's colors, especially after that stunt that he pulled hours- Days- ago. The smirk on Neliel's face seemed out of place. The next thing he saw was her standing right next to him and the top of her mask grazing his ear.

"Well fine then. I appreciate a good show!" She giggled and Ichigo felt what she meant. Her hand slapped his ass.

"AHH?!" Faster than he'd ever moved before Ichigo pressed his back against the wall and felt his face just start to burn. Nel was just standing there, leering at him and laughing. His shirt was just gone and the hakama he was wearing were only considered as such because he knew what they were supposed to be. Most of the leg was gone and barely enough material was still tied around his waist to keep his modesty.

"NEL! Why didn't you tell me?!" Ichigo's face was still bright red but Neliel seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Ha, Ichigo it's nothing I haven't seen before. Plus you've already seen me like that. It's only fair." To punctuate her point she stuck her tongue out at him and kept laughing when he dashed behind a door to get changed. It might be the enemy's uniform but it was better than what he had left.

"But it's not like I did that!" He was still red in the face. Neliel was proving to be worse than Yoruichi and Matsumoto since she let him wander down the halls half naked. He groaned when he realized how many people had seen him with barely anything on.

"Oh relax Ichigo. It's not like you had anything to be ashamed of, I mean to clean you properly I had to see your--"

"NEL!" The blood was rushing into his face again and his footsteps got just the slightest bit heavier. Even through all of his embarrassment he felt better. Neliel still had that slight smile on her face and Ichigo wondered if this entire thing was a set up to make him feel better. The mood died again when a familiar looking girl saw him and ran back into the room she came from- Neliel didn't pay her any mind.

"This really isn't something funny. Why is everybody avoiding us?" They had left the room behind and now she was just showing him the different areas that weren't destroyed. Every time they came up to a group huddled together or even just passing by, they would pale and shrink back before moving faster down the hall.

"You're not stupid Ichigo. They're terrified of you." Neliel was being serious again. Part of Ichigo wonders if that was how it was going to be with her for a while, going back and forth from someone with child like mischief to one of Aizen's top Espada with no time for games and play. Ichigo thought for a moment and wondered how hard it must have been for Neliel to get used to everything again. From what he could see Aizen and his followers were still gone, as were his friends and numbers three through one. She had to wake up to a lonely place and make things work again.

"But you're not scared of me anymore, right?" It would be worse, somehow, if she thought that he was a monster like Nnoitra.

"Not of what you did on the dome. I feel a whole lot better now that you're out of that stupid shinigami uniform." She said it all carelessly like he didn't rip someone apart. They reached one of the many rooms they had for food. The Espada had their own spaces but for the most of them there was a public eatery, bringing back ill memories of school food.

Neliel told him to not really look at some of the food and just to eat the slop. He tried to find some food he would like but she quickly stopped him.

"But that looks like sushi."

"Exactly. It just looks like sushi, but we're in the middle of a desert. How did they make it look like that?" When she put it that way Ichigo put the small tray back and picked the very basics. They couldn't do something to rice. Most people were eating it like that- dishes of rice scattered around and sauces just being poured over.

"It's..." It was pasty like something that sat in the water for too long and kind of tasteless. The different flavors of sauce were making sense then and Ichigo poured something that looked like teriyaki over the food.

"Yeah, but you'll get used to it. I'd say you already got used to a few things here." Neliel said he would, but Ichigo wasn't so sure. The honey he wanted to add next wouldn't open so he tried biting it off, making his voice muffled. The rest of the afternoon passed easily and Ichigo was able to take his mind off of everything else.

Three days passed in that fashion, of Ichigo following Neliel around to understand what goes on in Las Noches. Aside from herself and the few other still unconscious, they were the only Espada left and the strongest around too. Dozens of numerous and unnumbered arrancar and hollows wandered around, repairing the building and keeping things in order. It disturbed Ichigo to see that so many of them looked like children.

"He's stronger than he looks." They were watching a Pigfinn, a mohawked fellow that was practically a mane, toss the illusionary boulders up in the air for others to catch. To Ichigo, he couldn't have been more than thirteen years old.

"But they all look like that. The ones that don't are either animal like or they just act like kids." Neliel shrugged and watched them go back to work. The arrancar around them had gotten used to Ichigo's presence and realized that he wasn't going to kill them if they looked too long.

They were outside, for once, still talking and chatting about things on top of one of the pillars that were left standing. Neliel had mentioned several times how he needed to play nicer with others and to stop damaging everything that came in his general direction. Ichigo wanted to ask her again what had happened with his friends when somebody walked out of Las Noches and started heading towards them.

"Aw crap." For his poor ability at control he could tell people apart by their reiatsu.

"Well if I'm that bad of a company I could just leave you with Loly and Menoly." Neliel couldn't tell yet and got huffy at the implied insult.

"Not you. Grimmjow's up." They waited for a few minutes before they saw the light blue of his hair stand out against the rest of the sand. Ichigo could practicably feel the sadistic grin that Grimmjow was wearing when he looked up at them. Asshat probably woke up and immediately went to look for him. Or Nnoitra, but he was very, very dead.

"Any chance I could convince him not to fight?" He was already leaping alongside what was left of the building and reaching the top with them. Neliel peered over the edge only to have the dust from sand impact hit her in the face.

"No." She spit out some of the sand in her mouth.

Grimmjow made it to the top and crouched down like he wanted to rip their heads off. "Found you and you're all fixed up this time. I haven't forgotten what you said." Of all the things Grimmjow chose to remember, it was the promise of a fight even if neither of them were up to it.

"Look, Grimmjow, not now. I don't..." Grimmjow got up off of his haunches and stood up straight. Instead of that almost playful look he got before their fights (the ones that even Ichigo could admit he enjoyed) there was anger. The sight didn't intimdate him like it had weeks ago but just the idea of trying to fight off someone right now didn't appeal to him at all. Even Nel was skirting closer to the end of the pillar for a quick escape.

"I don't give a fuck what you want right now. I've been waiting for this fight to continue and you made me put it off." Ichigo felt like he was in Urahara's basement again; raw inside from the three days of hollowification and having his sword right there but no will to use it.

---

Grimmjow was absolutely excited. He wasn't going to fess up to needing as much time to recover as the shinigami, but he did wake up after the bastard interrupted their fight, only to be put away again. It was okay that almost everybody was gone because now it'd just be the things that mattered, him, his prey, and a few others to occupy time. To say he was disappointed when he saw what Kurosaki had become was putting it mildly.

Sitting on the top of their god damn world with Neliel and looking absolutely defeated and dead. There was nothing from the man he fought and wanted to fight again. But he knew how to fix that just like all the other times. Kurosaki needed to be coaxed out of his shell before he really came out to tear carnage and ravage everything; and he was all too happy to submit to some foreplay.

He smiled and rushed his fist into the other's face, only to have his stomach pinned down to the floor. Kurosaki tackled him and was using both of his arms to pin him down, otherwise being left wide open. It was a stupid mistake.

"You're so off this isn't even fun." Grimmjow set off a Bala into Kurosaki's back making him gasp for breath and brought his knee into his stomach. He was just lying there, heaving, trying to get a breath. When did he get so weak?

The other was still for only a second more before trying to kick out Grimmjow's feet from under him. He tumbled forwards and Kurosaki caught his arm. The man froze in front of him and just hung there with a grip on his arm.

"What is this? This isn't what I've been waiting for or even what you promised me. Get it together now!" By all means, the other should have avoided the cero but the fight was over when Kurosaki's body went back through the dome.

"Grimmjow you ass! He's going to be seriously hurt again."That was another thing Grimmjow had to think about, now that he was up and had time. It wasn't like Kurosaki would be good for anything.

"Who cares? You've been gone for years and you just waltz right back into Las Noches like you owned the place. You're even worse than the other woman, always babying Kurosaki. Bet you haven't even told him what his friends decided to do with him." They got up and ran to where Ichigo should have landed, Grimmjow finally noticing all the rebuilding going on and snorted.

"Now I remember why I didn't care about you going missing. You're about as much of a bootlicker to Aizen as Ulquiorra is."

They found Ichigo sprawled on the ground unconscious but burnt around his middle from the Cero. Grimmjow saw that he wasn't wearing anything like a shinigami uniform. Neliel told him to carry Kurosaki all the way to the damn infirmary like he was an invalid or something. What was the difference between sleeping on the ground and sleeping around a bunch of weak things that can't even get themselves up? But Neliel never changed and bossed him around, throwing her weight where she shouldn't. He'd humor her, for now. Mostly because she was the only one around that knew anything.

"Used to be." He and Neliel were never friends and kept far away from each other even when she was still active though he knew enough that this little sombre attitude wasn't normal with her. He didn't have a clue about what she meant.

"You ain't a kiss ass anymore?" He couldn't believe that. Just like he couldn't believe that Aizen was waiting this damn long to show himself and punish all of them. Or that even Kurosaki and he were able to wander around after all the shit they pulled. They got back to the infirmary and he dropped Kurosaki down on a pile of blankets he had left in the efforts to get to the less than adequate fight.

"I was never like that, no matter what you say. But Ulquiorra might be dead. Ichigo...he lost control and just ripped him to pieces. It took a lot out of Inoue to even put him back together."

"That's what's wrong with them?!" Seeing Ulquiorra all scraped up and in off worse than he was great but he didn't know what did that to him. Neliel still didn't find any of it amusing and shoved his shoulder into the doorway.

"They don't need the kind of abuse you'd give to them so leave, now." Grimmjow still didn't like her, her uppity manners, and her just acting like she was better than him. He wasn't the one that was beaten by a lame ass trick of Nnoitra's (though, he wasn't missing the Bastard much at all).

"Tch. Don't know what the shinigami's so surprised about. I told him why he came here in the first place and it had nothing to do with that woman; he's not staying here for your ass either. Kurosaki just doesn't know who he's supposed to be fighting anymore." Neliel was starting to glare at him but Grimmjow knew he was right. They just didn't get what made people like him and Kurosaki tick, especially those like Neliel and Ulquiorra that liked to believe that they choose their actions.

Ulquiorra stuck to the woman like glue because she was the only person able to stand him for more than a few minutes. Neliel coddled and mothered everything she saw alone for too long. At least he and Kurosaki didn't have to pretend to enjoy or even like other people.

Grimmjow was going to go along with Neliel's bitching for now. The sooner Kurosaki was back to normal, the sooner they could really fight again (and he ignored any altruistic outcomes of this).


	2. Crude and Edible

AN: Thank you to everyone that favorited and the rare person or two that reviewed. Again, this is slow moving and more personally driven but I hope you enjoy!

Beta: Again, the lovely (and speedy) Confusion no Hime

Chapter Two: Crude and Edible

Either they were going to follow him, do something about it, or they were going to die. Being an arrancar didn't stop their growth as hollows but it made them weak in the head and weak in their drive. They had, as Aizen bullshitted to them 'The perfected powers of hollow and shinigami.' and that was enough to most of the things laying around Las Noches, all trying to build something back up that they could believe in again.

It used to be that if you weren't strong enough to make it on your own and stay an adjuchas, you went with a pack and you gave it up for security. Now that Aizen went about getting the strongest around under one roof and told them not to consume their 'brothers and sisters' they got weak. Weak hollows that wouldn't ever grow and wouldn't be able to fucking fight him. The size and apparent age of some of the numeros running around had enough to say about that.

That was also the reason why Grimmjow hated one of the Espada in front of him. Ulquiorra thought that the fancy number put on him made him stronger than himself and acted it, always kissed ass even when it did nothing for him. All that service given and the only prize he got was to watch a certain woman who only cared for the person he couldn't stand. He found it hilarious and felt proud of Kurosaki for a minute there. Sure, he was lying on a mat not too far away, but in a few hours he was going to be up and walking around while Ulquiorra wasn't even positively alive.

He had talked about Kurosaki the same way he talked about him; that they were uncouth men and they should be put down as soon as possible. And Kurosaki took the one thing he'd wanted away from him without even trying and then killed him. That little number on his chest and Aizen's favor couldn't save him. He was pitied in the same way the woman pitied the two girls that beat her. Wouldn't he love to know that?

"Kurosaki, get up. I'm not waiting here for you any longer. Kurosaki!" He watched Kurosaki woke up underneath the blanket Neliel had insisted on piling on him for the few hours he'd been knocked out. "I said wake up."

The other seemed to get the point and rolled over onto his side so he could easily get up. The burn and damage to his waist and chest probably still stung, but Grimmjow was actually going to help with that one. He was eager, or anything like that, but he did sonido over to the shinigami's side with a plate of food for him. It was to throw him off balance and nothing else.

"Ah! What is the matter with you?!" Clearly neither of them cared about the other healing person in the room. Grimmjow wasn't having of Neliel's false hope of that crappy nurturing side and threw the dead out of the window. Admittedly, Yammy was still in the corner and Ulquiorra was unmoved (he wasn't afraid to move him, just didn't care to).

"You've been lazy enough. The sooner you get yourself together; I'll get those fights you promised." Kurosaki groaned and tried to get back under the sheets but Grimmjow grabbed his collar. "I brought you lunch so eat it before I shove it down your throat."

The shinigami just stared at him, wide eyed like he was confused about something. Grimmjow didn't know what he think about this kind of crap. Kurosaki had a talent for annoying him slightly more than even Ulqiourra had, mostly because he would actually do things to get him riled up. But Kurosaki was also one of the few people that gave into a fight whenever they ran into each other- a real fight, none of the nonsense about cleverness or long thought strategy. It was something like a companion.

"What is it?" He was sitting up properly now and felt his hand get shaken off of the other's neck and shirt. Grimmjow looked at the plate he brought and didn't see anything wrong with it. Sure it was mostly rice and that didn't taste good at all when you ate it for too long but he had added some of his own kill to it to help Kurosaki. He really wasn't complaining about that right?

"You think I'm going to hurt you with food? After all the crap I've put up with to get a decent fight out of you and kick those mothering women aside, you think I'm going to kill you with a plate of food." At least he was embarrassed enough to get a red face about it and just started eating.

"It's really salty. This wasn't in the cafeteria yesterday." He was still treating the food with suspicion and Grimmjow had about enough of it. So few people razzing his nerves in such a short time. He wasn't normally this irritable but something was itching at him and he couldn't get it off. It had to be their unresolved battle. They'd fight and one of them would be dead- or as close to death as they'd ever get- and everything would go back to normal.

"I told you already that it's mine." He had a moment of clarity and thought for a minute that maybe giving Kurosaki pieces of a strong adjuchas he'd killed wasn't a good idea. What he didn't know wouldn't kill him though.

"Thanks. I am actually feeling better. What's with the sudden turn around?" Grimmjow was getting more and more agitated with the questions. He wasn't supposed to be questioned for the things he did and it was probably the only thing he liked Tousan for.

Kursoaki's wounds were already healing. He was probably more like Ulquiorra or Syazel as a hollow with regeneration- it would make sense for why any heirro he might have had was so weak. Grimmjow looked over the pale body behind him and wondered if the bastard was going to wake up any time soon. He just didn't want to leave the only person who'd challenge him with a mothering fool. It would ruin him.

Speak of the devil.

"Ichigo when did you get up?" Neliel was walking through the room, alternating between grinning at her little play thing and glaring at him. He was still closer to Kurosaki which meant if she wanted to 'help', she had to get closer to him as well.

---

"Hey Nel. Grimmjow here was just passing me lunch. I couldn't have been out that long, though." The food really was overly salty as he told Grimmjow but part of it was also addicting, like really bad junk food he'd had whenever Yuzu wasn't looking. It filled him up quickly and made him feel much better. Between being lethargic and eating very little rice meat must have been doing him some good.

"Oh! Hello to you too, Grimmjow." It was startling to hear Neliel be so cold to a person. Hell she was a little friendlier with Nnoitra and he was being beaten by her. Ichigo started into his lunch again looking up to see Grimmjow giving him that wide grin that meant trouble. Neliel asked about the emptiness of the room before sitting on the mat with him.

"I shoved the dead ones out." Now that he thought about it the room was a lot emptier. Don Panini was one of the many gone from the room.

"You're sure they're all dead? I mean they could get better..." Grimmjow laughed.

"No he's not sure. But he just didn't want to have too many people in the same room as him because they might see what kind of a monster he is." Ichigo felt his stomach lurch again at the word. Neliel had a clear idea of what a monster was and of what he did.

It was horrifying that he lost all of his control like that. Just laying there on the roof of these buildings, feeling the pull of everything going through him; his hollow was so quiet but screaming too. Neither one of them was ready for this but Zangetsu just watched them both, waiting for a command or something to happen besides brute instinct. His instinct wasn't like what Kenpachi was trying to teach him. Ichigo didn't just want to fight everyone- he wanted to destroy everything that was a threat to him. He was worse than Grimmjow and Nnoitra.

Ichigo hadn't asked about his friends again because he was just getting worse and worse. He was a coward now, afraid to know what his closest friends and family thought of him, him as a monster that needed to be put down. He wasn't even able to fight to protect anybody anymore.

Grimmjow made everything so easy to block or to fight back. Ichigo didn't feel adrenaline going through him or that thrill of fighting with Zangetsu again. He was scared and now he was being pitied.

"Tch, you say that with your favorite sitting right next to you. I want you to fight me like you fought Ulquiorra so get over whatever's the matter with you. It was finally getting to be fun." Neliel stiffened and looked away from their spot, probably looking through the gaps in the wall and ceiling.

"I'm sorry Ichigo, I wasn't thinking of that." What he really wanted to do was crawl back into the blankets and into the corner of the room but that wouldn't help. He had to get up and get better. For once Grimmjow was saying the right thing. If he laid here defeated then he would really be unable to protect everybody. But to do so, he'd have to get through lunch first.

"It's okay." Grimmjow snorted next to him. Neliel was the only one standing and was starting to look uncomfortable.

"Better be. We're fighting after you're done eating." He wasn't ready for a fight but he was going to do it anyway. It always worked when Rukia tried to beat some sense into him; maybe Grimmjow would be the same.

"That lunch... Ichigo, I didn't think you'd actually eat a hollow." It was Grimmjow's turn to flinch and Ichigo felt his insides go cold. The slimy and salt consistency of the meat made sense now. Where would Grimmjow have gotten the meat from anyway? He was eating another being.

"What did you give me, Grimmjow?"

"Food." His stomach was starting to hurt now and the retching began. Neliel dragged him up by the shoulder and started pulling him out of the room.

"Here, there's a toilet next room over. Grimmjow you are impossible!" She couldn't seem to decide whether she wanted to help him or berate Grimmjow for what he did. He couldn't breathe through the mess that was coming out of his mouth but caught snippets of the conversation happening just in the hallway.

"Last time I'm helping somebody. You're on your own Kurosaki." Neliel was still out there muttering about how it was okay, he didn't do anything wrong, and that it was okay to be disgusted by people like Grimmjow. People like himself.

When he finally stopped puking into the toilet, he was dizzy from the lack of air and just let himself collapse on the floor for a minute. It was mostly the rice that came back up; whatever was left of that hollow he ate was already consumed inside of him. The shallow wounds that were left on him were already healed. Ichigo didn't think he could take much more news like this. How easy was it for Grimmjow to convince him that it was okay to eat whatever he wanted (worse yet, in the back of his mind, how filling and tasty the soul had been).

How easy it was to pretend that Neliel was normal and not another hollow with something like morals? He was led around by her without even some suspicion. He was too weak to make up his own mind about things.

He was wrong. He still wasn't ready for anything to happen.

---

Neliel ran through the hallways trying to find Ulquiorra or his body, whichever it was. The sheets he was laying in were moved and the body missing, so either he had finally gotten up and managed to leave the room or someone took his body and was...doing things to it. Grimmjow would be the first in mind for something like that. His room was a bit farther away than most of them but he was found easily enough.

"Grimmjow, did you do anything to Ulquiorra?" She opened the door without knocking and just burst right in almost out of breath. She was disappointed to see that he was just lying there in bed instead of causing trouble as usual. She could have blown off a lot of steam that had been working her for a few days now on him but he was being good. Everything around them was restless and waiting for something to happen but it never did. Just waiting and healing and repairing but nothing to really see how anything went. It had been weeks now since the Shinigami left, but still less than a month.

"Can't you even knock on the fucking door? And you call me a beast. Maybe you did want to see something." Neliel knew what he was implying. He had that cocky grin on his face whenever he insinuated something like that or finally riled Ichigo into hitting him back. She didn't want to think of any correlation between the two.

"Gross. Ulquiorra is missing." He seemed curious but otherwise not bothered.

"I didn't do it. Nice to know you're thinking about me, all rushing around and coming here out a breath. You sure it's that cold corpse you're after? Your little pet doesn't help you out at all, you know, even with you following him around like a little puppy. Can't say I blame him. You're about as subtle as a menos attack." He was just lounging there and making fun of her. She wanted to hurt him but that wouldn't be right and he was even distracting her from the problem at hand.

"Screw you." She turned around and tried to find where Ulquiorra had gone off too. It wouldn't end well if someone just started attacking again without knowing the certain circumstances of what was going on.

"You might in a few days. No one else around here is going to help you!" He was laughing again and it made her face all red. Just another reason to hate that type of person. Not like Ichigo, for all of his bluster, was an honestly sweet person. She had to go find him but he didn't have anything to do with the disappearance. He would have been relieved and happy to find out that he could make up for the mistake he made.

But none of the other arrancar running around would have a reason to go near him. Injured or not, his number was still high enough to inspire fear for those that hadn't even met him. She hadn't been around during his transformation, Nnoitra and Syazel had taken care of that, so Neliel didn't know what his real habits were. Ichigo wouldn't know them and she would be damned before asking Grimmjow for any kind of 'help'.

"Loly, Menoly, have either of you seen Ulquiorra?" The two girls were a few of the still normal arrancar around, capable of really fighting and growing more than the little kiddies running around. Everybody had noticed it but they didn't say anything and that was part of the reason there was desperation for the healing arrancar. It wasn't going so well.

"No ma'am, we haven't seen him. Is he alright?" Menoly was more subdued and stayed quiet, Neliel really liked her. If everything went well, she would be one of the few that actually went far and survived to see another day. Her friend most likely wouldn't.

"Have you tried the princess's old room?" Neliel was really getting bored with how bitter some people had become. It was hard enough to integrate herself back into her own home but there were few if no familiar faces. None of them had the power to do anything either, except Grimmjow. Her memories as a child were fragmented and hazy at best, but she could fondly remember Inoue as a genuinely nice person. Perhaps a little naive and weak willed, but a nice person nonetheless.

"I will check, thank you. You might want to smarten up your attitude as well. Making accusations like that are not well received, especially given the company we have." Ichigo wouldn't like to hear of his friend being talked about like that. It was worth noting that Grimmjow didn't even have a problem with her. Then again he wasn't as hateful as Nnoitra, but everything spoke volumes about what they did, considering how few actions any of them took.

Thinking about it made it somewhat believable. For someone so stoic, the only people Ulquiorra made an excess of actions for were to attack Ichigo and to recapture Inoue. It would be nice, then, to have another person around that could think and have some compassion for others. Neliel didn't know exactly where Inoue was kept during her stay but it wasn't hard to figure out that it was someplace close to where Aizen's location would normally be. He would, of course, have planned a head for any mishaps and to keep their guest safe.

There was only one reiatsu in the area and it wasn't moving around all that much. Most of this area was in great condition and well preserved. It didn't even look like there were battles fought there.

He was standing there in one of the rooms looking out of the window, barely inclining his head when she entered.

"Hello, I'm Neliel Tu Odershvank. You scared a lot of us when you disappeared out of the infirmary. Are you alright now?" He looked fine and well but he had also looked like that when he was on the ground and cut into pieces so there was no basis for comparison.

"Where is Aizen-sama?" Neliel felt herself shiver. So people weren't exaggerating when they said how cold and uncaring he was.

"We don't know but he's sure to return to us soon enough." She wanted to say more, something that would make him feel better or feel welcome. It was easier with other people because most hollows wanted someone to care about their specific needs and wants. He appeared to need or want nothing and that her company was an annoyance.

"The woman and the shinigami?" Or maybe not. Curiosity meant an interest and she thought she was right about him and Inoue. But then again, that would only make the next bits of news even harder to say.

"They're all gone. They left weeks ago...but Ichigo is here! He'll be thrilled to find out that you're better and I'm sure Grimmjow will too even if he doesn't say it." Ulquiorra was wearing the same clothes as he wore when she first saw him as a child. He seemed to like keeping himself clothed and properly covered. Without a word he brushed right by her and walked down the hallway, pausing only at the end of it.

"We are survived by only ourselves and Grimmjow. And Kurosaki is here? Maybe he can answer my question. The woman proved to be incapable of doing so. She is nothing but troubling; making messes and not being able to clean them up." He kept walking by and Neliel could only assume that he was going to look for Ichigo.

She hoped this would be enough to break him out of his shell. This confrontation (unlike any and all with Grimmjow) would be good for the both of them. They would be able to tone Grimmjow down too and then everything would work out perfectly.

Aizen would return any day now and would be glad that they were already rebuilding everything that had been ruined. Ichigo might have been a sore spot but no one could turn away such a great ally and dedicated friend, Aizen would see that. Neliel followed behind Ulquiorra for a bit before smiling at the empty spaces and broken rooms.

It was great to be home again.


	3. Shun him, for he is the harbinger

AN: Thanks for everybody that's been reading. This chapter is slightly shorter than the others, and I hope you enjoy.

Beta: thank you, Confusion no Hime!

Chapter Three : Shun him, for he is the harbinger of death.

"Pigfinn, where do you want this to go?" Ichigo was tired of not being himself and being so useless. There was no reason for him to just wallow in whatever area of the fort he'd fallen asleep in, and there had been real winners. Once he had even found himself awake in a storage closet- one bigger than the size of his room on Earth- by a couple of the arrancars trying to rebuild the place. It was exhausting work being so morose and avoiding everybody that knew him.

It was hard to decide if Neliel's unwavering dedication and certainness or Grimmjow's single-minded pursuit for a fight was worse for him. _That_ was something that bothered Ichigo for a few days. Every arrancar had something that pushed them so far they lost sight of everything else. It might have only been for a little while but Ichigo saw a single-minded focus drive a lot of them, even Nel. They already had him in their clothes, eating other souls, and rebuilding their fort. How much longer would it be before he lost himself entirely to them and became that monster again?

"I am unsure of what to do with your continuous disappointment. Generally you do not have to look at failure in its face." Slow as ever, Ulquiorra walked into the

trashed room and looked around at the rebuilding process.

"You're alive..." Ichigo felt his chest tightened and wanted to just keep breathing. Ulquiorra wasn't dead anymore; he could fix whatever he mangled from him. It left a curious sense of 'what', though. What could be done to fix something that he actually hadn't caused? Their fight was one that _had_ to happen so everybody (it was becoming more and more obvious what had happened even if he didn't know the details) could get out of here free and alive. It was only the manner of death that wrung out Ichigo's thoughts and made him sick with guilt.

"Forget what happened. You will leave Las Noches now." The other two arrived then, yelling about something and it looked like Neliel had the upper hand in the conversation for once. Unluckily they both heard what Ulquiorra said.

"He isn't fucking leaving until I get my fights. No one put you in charge anyway."

They were both agitated and Neliel shooed the rest of the little arrancars out of the room. Only Pigfinn was still there, trying to decide whether to stay or to go. One look from Grimmjow sent him away.

Ichigo wasn't quite sure what to say. He _shouldn't_ be in Las Noches anymore. There had to be some way home for him or even to the Soul Society, but the idea of wandering out in that desert alone wasn't a welcoming one. Ulquiorra seemed unconcerned with the agitation around him and stared without blinking.

"I can't leave. I... I'm not allowed to." His answer was barely heard when Grimmjow roared for Ulquiorra's attention. Nel was still quiet but slowly crept over to Ichigo's side. He felt her hand on his elbow, probably trying to stop him from doing anything in the first place. If he couldn't even fight Grimmjow seriously, there was no way he could harm Ulquiorra. She worry didn't make him feel any better.

"You cannot leave? I assure you it is simple, allow me to show you the way."

Something had changed but Ichigo couldn't figure out what. Ulquiorra was still cold and to the point, but there was something behind his words which was more than could be said before. Ulquiorra was _angry_ at him.

"Now, Ulquiorra, you really can't do that. Ichigo has just as much of a right to be here as you." Ichigo wasn't letting the arrancar out of his sight in case it happened that he needed to get himself and Nel out of a direct attack.

"Look, both of you! Shut up, Ulquiorra! You've been fucking out since you lost to Kurosaki over there. You fucking _died_ and I don't give a shit about what you really think. You hear me?!" Maybe he wouldn't have to fight against Ulquiorra today- Grimmjow was furious over something just as much as Neliel was nervous. It was all the things he couldn't understand.

Ichigo was grateful for that.

"Out? Then I am correct in assuming that the Shinigami and humans have abandoned Kurosaki here. I believe 'sentence' is the better choice of word for this." That worked at Neliel's last bit of calmness.

"Stop it Ulquiorra! Ichigo is one of our own and even Aizen-sama let him live for a reason. _You_ can't get rid of him that easily!" Before he realized what he was doing Ichigo ripped his arm away from Nel and backed away from them all. To his side, Grimmjow looked like he was about to lose it.

"Nel, I'm not one of you. I'm a shinigami and Aizen didn't _let_ me live, Orihime saved me." It had gone too far and Ichigo was just angry over being lumped together with them again. He was trying to get back to normal and find his way back. He wasn't an Arrancar and Neliel's continued insistence that he was went too far. Ulquiorra thought it was time to finally address Nel.

"Aizen left me in charge to do as seen fit and--"

"And Aizen ain't coming back you boot licking fools. He's gone and the chances of him coming back for the two of you are about the same as Kurosaki's good old friends not suddenly deciding he wasn't a hollow. I told you all before, I'm the King around here. You listen to _me_ now." Grimmjow's anger was gone and replaced by a cocky grin and smile. It was something amazing. Instead of the usually lazy gait he took on everywhere except fighting he was standing tall and proud, ready to rip Ulquiorra to pieces. Again.

"That's not true! Aizen would never abandon us like that. And YOU! I've seen your mask and felt your reiatsu. Don't even lie, You're like us!" Nel looked that she was feeling. She was pale and spluttering trying to decide what she should argue against first. Her hands were trembling; Ichigo wanted to help her but he had his own problems to think of now.

He didn't have a home; or to be more correct, Hueco Mundo was his home now. There was nothing for him to go to no matter who won the war.

"You're serious? Kurosaki maybe they'll listen to you. Is our Dear Aizen-sama coming back?" Grimmjow went on and on like he was trying to drive his sword into the two in front of them. Ulquiorra hadn't lost his composure or even spoke but Nel was breaking down right there. Nothing hysterical, but horrible to watch at the same time.

"He already tried killing his subordinates and left people he'd known for years. The man's a bastard that doesn't care about anybody." It was the truth. Saying that to Nel, though, made him feel like lead was pouring down his throat. Ichigo shook himself out of those thoughts. He didn't have any loyalty to the people- things- in front of him. With his luck, Aizen would have probably walked in as he was saying that. It might have made everything easier if that had happened.

She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her. It made Ichigo feel terrible that he'd hurt his only friend here and by siding with Grimmjow, of all people. Now that he had nothing to look forward to, it might be time to make himself comfortable.

"I do not care what you expect from me, Kurosaki. The memories of my death and of conversations and battle beforehand had been lost to me. Any epiphany or life altering expectation you might have learned from me, or I from you during that time... keep it to yourself. I have no wish to know." Ulquiorra, too, left the room in the same silent manner as he walked in. The cold rage was still there.

"Did you really have to go and hurt Nel like that?" Grimmjow had turned to watch them both leave. Ichigo had that desire to bring him down a peg or two just for the _fun_ of it.

"Of course I did. Both of them would have run around here for their 'Aizen-sama', the woman was already rebuilding to please him. It'll be better now that they know I'm in charge." Ichigo stared at him, his mouth wide open.

"What the hell are you King of?!"

"Ulquiorra. The woman. You. All of this might have been something to mess up your life but we're not human or shinigami. I don't know what you are but we all have two choices. Stay here or go out there." He gestured to the open window that lead out into the desert. Ichigo was still confused.

"Why are you helping me like this? Don't you want me dead and left out there too?" Grimmjow lost his smirk and looked at him. Not like the prey or a potential fight, just something to understand.

"You're not walking around here like you're better than me. And you ain't a shinigami anymore no matter what you're saying to yourself. Get your ass together before you get killed out there." Grimmjow didn't really explain anything. Especially why he could just consider himself King of a person. That tiny voice in the back of his head started whispering thoughts again. The same kind of thoughts that made him weary in the first place.

He wasn't fighting against any of it anymore. He was alright with Grimmjow being King, with Neliel trying to make him more of a hollow than he was, even with the fear and respect of the other numeros running around. The ease of the transition scared him more than the actual reality of it.

---

Ulquiorra remembered everything before he died and the few moments he had in the process of it. His eyes saw everything and still did, but the unsettled feelings in himself weren't what he was used to. For all of his life he had nothing. Once again he had nothing, except feelings.

Loss, from what he could tell, was not something he had ever been acquainted with. Unrealistic anger was beating in his heart too. He hated Kurosaki. He hated Grimmjow. Thankfully the woman that had appeared meant nothing to him.

Ulquiorra knew that Inoue wasn't going to be in the room she was given and still went back there before Neliel had interrupted him. His heart beat faster for a minute, confused. He seemed to hate her too.

Aizen had put him in charge of her, the capture, care, and defense of her even when the speculations of her uselessness was announced. The other actions of the Espada, Ryoka, and even his masters were on the periphery of his mission. It had been very easy to find his heart with her since she had no control over her own emotions and practically broadcasted them through the rooms.

There was nothing here now and it made him furious.

She hadn't gone with him so easily out of anything _for_ him; it was just her flighty nature. Even the pale promises she'd made to serve Aizen weren't really there. It must have been an amusing masquerade for their lord. Above all that, there had never been a promise to him.

To find out that she left his protection and care without even a second thought or glance- not even hesitation she's shown in the bridge between worlds, with Grimmjow of all people _hurt. _She had found someone so unceasingly cruel and still went with him to Kurosaki. He could admit a curiosity when it came to the shinigami, but it was constantly lacking something.

He had not figured out what a heart was until afterwards, but it had hurt him. She couldn't even answer for her actions when he dared to ask her about it. There could not be any clearer signs that what he felt was not reciprocated or appreciated by her.

Everything she did was for Kurosaki. Even when he was fighting like an animal and attacking his own friends she was still calling to him. Becoming accustomed to these feelings and the thudding in his chest was not pleasant. Humans and shinigami claiming their superiority from these emotions were obviously fools for pain.

Just as easily she left too. Fixed him back to a body and left without giving any answers or reasons, to live out life in an unsatisfied and poor outlook. Ulquiorra imagined that she would always be like that and would always be unaware of her actions towards others.

He would much rather be dead. It was unfair and cruel of her to leave him like this; barely alive and breathing and wanting something he'd never see again, all while facing every one she had preferred.

Something new, now. The babble of his fellow hollows and arrancar about the emptiness inside of them was like this, the consuming of other hollows for sport suddenly didn't seem so insignificant, nor the desire to have followers always attached to them.

"You two will tell me what has happened and what damage you have caused." He spotted Loly and Menoly still loitering around like the jealous creatures they were. As absorbing as Kurosaki was, he still remembered the attack on Inoue before everything had escalated beyond his control.

It would be refreshing not to care about her attackers and let them live.

"Yes, Ulquiorra sir."

Ulquiorra hated his newfound heart and the person that had given it to him. What he really wanted was a way to lose it now.

---

Neliel stopped shaking hours ago but the window she was laying in was too comfortable for her to move. Even Pesche and Dondochakka were leaving her alone and they'd barely left her side since the whole incident began. All the anger that went through her was gone now and it left a tired and heavy feeling inside of her that wouldn't be worked out.

"Nel? Are you alright?" She looked up and saw Ichigo standing in the middle of the hall, fidgeting in place. He wasn't the last person she'd like to see, but she wasn't happy with him either. A friend wouldn't say something so terrible to another person in such a calm manner. If it were in the heat of the moment it would be understandable, but like that? No.

"Come to tell me that everything I'm doing is worthless? I thought you'd be sliding along with Grimmjow by now." She wasn't trying to be bitter and he came closer, eventually sitting on the other end of the window sill, looking out towards Hueco Mundo. He was looking better; less sickly and more bashful than anything else.

"I didn't mean to make you upset. Whether or not it's true about Aizen I don't want you to think that you're useless." Neliel sighed and moved her shoulder against the wall when it became too uncomfortable. A thought occurred to her and she started laughing, never minding the crazy look that Ichigo was giving her. It felt really good to laugh again like that.

"Nel?"

"Oh it's nothing. Grimmjow's the only person here that actually has what he wants. Ulquiorra and me... were not needed now. We have nothing to look forward to. And If you go anywhere outside of here you'll be killed, probably by your own friends. But Grimmjow is the only one that's content." She was probably hysterical but the laughing just kept coming out and it felt good. Her cheeks were hurting her and her belly was starting to ache from all of the giggling.

"Grimmjow's an ass." But Ichigo was smiling now too, a small and sincere smile that a little boy would have.

"Now there's a thought. I say we all rally around that idea- nobody would argue with it." Neliel slid her legs down and stretched them; purposefully knocking her feet into Ichigo's and wiggled her toes. They were starting to fall asleep from sitting so awkwardly.

"What is it?"

"That Grimmjow's an ass." They were smiling again and Nel took a good look at Ichigo. He didn't have that defeated look on himself anymore even with all the crap he'd heard today. In fact he looked almost a little calm staring out into the desert in his white clothes.

Grimmjow wasn't entirely wrong with all those jeers he made earlier, even if they were a bit crude. She was more interested in Ichigo than she realized and how far it went. It was something she felt even as a little kid, what with all of her clinging and threatening nature towards that Shinigami he was close to.

She was back to normal now and the inappropriate touching wouldn't be as casual.

She'd gotten one good feel during their fight with Nnoitra before it all ended and knew that it would take time. He was far too tense for it happened as casually as it would have to another person.

Neliel wanted to ignore the fact that there weren't many other people in her home anymore. She tapped her feet against his again and stared with a smirk on her face.

"Hey watch your feet." Ichigo was still watching the desert with disinterest so he didn't see the smug look on her face. She hit his foot again.

"Quit it, Nel!" Neliel grinned at him before nudging his foot again. He'd finally had enough because he tapped her foot away. They continued on like this for some time, occasionally hitting heel to ankles, and one near miss of falling out of the window.

Their game of footsie was very spontaneous, and she had no idea why the idea appealed to her but it did. They were both out of breath from laughing and laid against the side of the window smiling at each other.

"What was that about?" Serenity like this was a good thing. Ichigo made it so easy to follow him and to even have feelings for although not knowing about it at all.

"Thing's don't have to be so terrible now. We just have to live with it." Ichigo had to ruin the moment they had.

"I'm going to tell Ulquiorra what happened." Neliel sighed and wondered how that would turn out. One question would lead to another and then she'd be forced to tell Ichigo what the shinigami had done. Else Grimmjow would tell him and she couldn't let that happen.

"You know, you're the worst person for me." She smiled at him again and wondered if he'd ever tell her anything. Ichigo Kurosaki was everything she was afraid of and trying to make him into the perfect example of an arrancar wouldn't work and she knew it was foolish of her to even try.

It isn't fun if you don't cry a little bit, though.


	4. Bright Eyes

AN: Thanks for reading, and reviewing. And to HPSD4, yes, there will be tons more emotion in the coming chapters, but you're just going to have to wait tilt he end, aren't you? I hope you enjoy.

Beta: Confusion no Hime

Chapter Four : Bright Eyes

Loly's head went through the wall, followed shortly but Grimmjow's open hand. Menoly, for all of her tough appearance, was standing at the side, petrified and looking around for help.

"Ulquiorra, sir, please stop him." She didn't get to him since Grimmjow stood between the ways and Loly was trying to escape back out of the hole in the wall. Her hair was in disarray and the non masked parts of her face were already discoloring into bruises of dark blues and purples with the occasional break in the skin for blood. She wasn't having anything Grimmjow was saying to her.

"Aizen-sama would never leave us or leave you in charge." Loly _still_ had not learned to pick and choose her fights, considering the welts were still raw on her back from his punishments only a week ago. Another hollow might have just shrugged it off but she was an aggressor, like Grimmjow, the kind that often died before even reaching Gillian stage.

The shinigami often had these aggressive hollows on warning lists, even Aizen had specially picked out a few of them for his army, but they amounted to nothing but cannon fodder. The hollows that grew the most were never overly aggressive in such a manner as Grimmjow because they never survived the notice of the Shinigami. Their strength was their fall, so to speak.

Ulquiorra looked at the scene before him and knew Loly would be dead by the end of it. It was to her credit and luck that she survived enough to even before an Arrancar but the little weight she had was flaunted around too much. Menoly would, too, falter after this. Their relationship was very much like that between Nnoitra and Tesla, Ulquiorra thought, but he had never cared enough to pay closer attention. That was no longer and option and should not be lamented.

"What are you looking at him for? Last one that looked down on me died. I haven't eaten properly in ages and you'll be fine. I'm the King around here." Somehow Grimmjow managed to bare all of his teeth at the hollow in front of him who wasn't back down. It was just as well since she already did the irritable damage to Grimmjow's pride and security.

"We're not the traitors like you! You're as bad the other bitch is- you think you're better than us. We were Aizen's personal servants. You're just some cast off that even failed at getting killed by a shinigami. YOU'RE NO KING OF OURS." She was screaming that last part, red in the face and hideous. Ulquiorra had seen women fight angrily. They often would have a flushed looks but otherwise alive and in control- Loly had none of that. Menoly wasn't as pale as he thought she would be but this encounter was dealing damage towards her mentally as well as the building spiritual pressure imposed on her body. They might have been strong but they could not easily deal with Espada, let alone one with the greatest ferocity.

"Loly!" Grimmjow had already reached out for her shoulder when Menoly tackled her down to the ground. The force rolled them to about the area of his own feet before they stopped and Loly started screaming. Menoly hadn't been able to get her away fast enough, and her right shoulder was torn off at the arm, bleeding onto the floor and both of the girls.

Grimmjow was still enraged and gripped the limb so hard blood started pouring out of itself onto the floor, making more of a mess.

"You will clean this up and learn to control yourself better." If he didn't have business to speak to Grimmjow about, this entire scene could have been avoided from his sight and not under suspicion.

The obvious analysis of Grimmjow's actions suggested that his discipline had not grown, even with the influences of Neliel, and that he remained a caustic part of any equations. He was destroying one of the few strong soldiers they had left for selfish reason in what he decided was a broken ideology that was shared by many of the of them that were left. The insecurities Grimmjow was showing the world could not be hidden by a simple growl or attack.

Loly wasn't screaming anymore but seemed shocked and holding her hand to her right shoulder, or what was left of it, while Menoly was keeping her upright. Their blood wasn't as red as a human's or shinigami's would be, so the contrast between the white surrounding made the blood seem even blacker. Grimmjow snorted at him before taking a bite out of Loly's arm and chewing it obscenely.

His teeth were covered in the red blood with just a bit of skin still poking through and his mouth was a mess. The girl gave one more loud sob before running down the corridor, Menoly running after her for protection.

"You're bravado in this manner doesn't make you a fitting 'King' or whatever you wish to call yourself." He took stock of the hallway and knew he would have to ask one of the lower numbers to clean it up because none of the parties involved would.

"What do you want?" As casual as he could be, Ulquiorra watched Grimmjow finish eating the last bits of Loly's arm ensuring that she would never be able to use it again.

"You have not change but your interactions with the shinigami have. Tell him to let me be or I will end it." He was…desperate to get Kurosaki out of his life as soon as possible. Every time he saw the shinigami it only reminded him of the humiliating defeat he suffered and the foolish whims of the woman that left everything here, including the _man_ she wanted. Neliel, from the few conversations she'd forced on him, was even worse by dredging up memories of a time before him.

There was always a level of discernment when you think and find out about everything that came before you. Neliel told little stories about Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Syazel but that ended those he knew personally. Others had been replaced- even Haribel had been _her_ replacement. Something was very different about them. Syazel and Grimmjow, to date, were the only ones ever capable of reclaiming a position as an Espada and yet proved to be highly disinterested in the affairs of Aizen.

Neliel should be dead or at least in desperation to reclaim _something_. But instead she continued to cling to the shinigami and spend her days keeping Grimmjow in check.

"He isn't a shinigami anymore. Don't think he ever was, just another person really pissed off at Aizen and there are always enough of them. You can't handle him can you?" Grimmjow was laughing at him now, that same kind of maniacal laugh when he killed Luppi or really angered another person. He still couldn't put a name to the reactions in himself. They were feelings but the observances of them are grown, not understood.

Ulquiorra knew enough about the emotions that _shame_ and _embarrassment_ were what he was feeling while Grimmjow laughed, even if he couldn't place why. But there was something else and none of it made sense. Things that could not be seen had no real faculties to them and were biased towards each person.

"I do not understand what you mean." Embarrassment, it was still burning and making him hot uncomfortably. His senses went sharper and the focus of Grimmjow increased exponentially. Maybe this was what made humans and shinigami strong? The burst of emotions that overrode the bodies' homeostasis might make one feel superhuman.

"You called him Trash and you insulted me when I said you should have killed him. _I_ told you that he should have been fucking taken care of before any of this happened and only Tousen's meddling kept him alive. None of you, not even him, were ready for a real threat when he came by. And now you're stuck with him." The positions had indeed turned. Grimmjow had been quite vocal in the need to exterminate the Shinigami but their lord had an interest in him. Everything was starting to seem as if Aizen had planned for this all along; his troublesome problems like Grimmjow and weaker arrancar dealt with, fractions of the Shinigami separated, and their one hope locked away as a beast.

A foul taste sprang into Ulquiorra's mouth; his death was more than likely planned weeks ahead of time and counted on. They didn't matter in the long run or any plans in the future. His continued existence was a fluke, the outlier that never should have happened.

"And yet you do so much to return him to health and aid Neliel when she requests it." That brought a little falter into Grimmjow's steps.

"You know if you really want Kurosaki to stop bothering you, maybe you should leave. No one really gives a damn if you're here anyway. I mean me and him? We like fighting each other and we both know it. Neliel's the only other one here who thinks normal , and I'm just waiting for her to toss him into her bed. How about you just leave. You've never been able to find anything on your own without someone else picking it out first. Get the hell out of here."

These hearts weren't a solution for anything. When anything can make him weak enough that Grimmjow could hurt him with words- because it hurt even if he couldn't pin on the reasons why.

---

He had to find a bath, _now_. What he just saw was still playing over and over again in his mind and now he was even covered in the…in the.. Stuff? Ooze? It was gross, slimy, and dripping off of the clothes he'd been given the first day he was here. One of the tiny dog like arrancar pointed him in the direction of the one of the bathhouses with an odd look.

Ichigo knew he looked weird but after _that_ what could you expect? He wasn't even sure what he saw but it was nothing like any other hollow he'd ever experienced before. When you fought one there was the slight chance that it would burn you with acid or that exploding parts would make a mess, but this egg thing was disgusting in ways that made Orihime's cooking look normal.

"What is all over you?" Ichigo wanted to sigh because that would be perfectly normal- he finally finds one of the elusive baths in the place and there Grimmjow was, already comfortable in it, giving him the odd looks so many of the others had. He knew the slime (which was now starting to harden and getting sticky at the same time) was pink and that it was all over him, but enough was enough.

Curiously, the bath made some of it retract over his clothes and leave just a white film over its tracks. For the first time since he'd gotten here there was something more to the air than just a stagnant dry wind, but steam and a warm heat over everything. It made him feel even dirtier now that everything that had been on him was getting moist.

"I have no idea." Ichigo's eyes had a vacant expression when he went behind one of the walls and changed into a towel, not even watching to touch his clothes, and started to dip himself into the water. It felt really good.

"There was, I don't know, a rock? Then the rock started melting and it looked like an egg only it exploded." Just the thought of what happened made him shiver again. Slime was not supposed to have tentacles like that. Grimmjow stopped laughing at him and swam over to his end of the tub, inspecting the flecks of goop that were still on his shoulder. They might have been on better terms, but Ichigo didn't exactly like the lack of personal space, more so when Grimmjow didn't go back to his side and continued to bathe and lounge right next to him.

Grimmjow wanted to fight him and Ichigo was starting to think that he could manage it soon enough. He hadn't heard anything from his inner hollow and Zangetsu was starting to feel anxious to do something, probably because he wanted something to do himself. Beyond that they were starting to get along.

Nothing like him or Chad but one of his newer friendships with Ishida and maybe Renji, more like Renji since he and Grimmjow were both stubborn debases. Ishida wouldn't be too happy if he was in the same category as them. Ichigo knew how the others would act about him getting friendly with the arrancar, no matter how decent they've been, but Chad was something else.

Most of his stay here had him thinking 'what would Chad do?' because his friend never seemed to make an enemy out of anybody with his attitude. Ichigo just couldn't follow through with that answer, Grimmjow _asked_ to have that chair thrown at his head when he tried grabbing Ichigo in a headlock.

"Hn. Syazel's alive then. Freak should be walking around in a few days."

"That was a person?!" None of it made sense; neither people nor hollows were egg slime things with _tentacles_. It was like the horrible day at the beach all over again only this didn't look or smell appetizing like a watermelon.

"You think that's odd just wait until you actually met him. He makes Ichimaru look decent." Grimmjow's face fell a minute and Ichigo felt his panic rising. If it was enough to throw him off, what was this personality actually like.

"…If he starts pulling out a doll that looks like you just run away, okay?" A piece of the slime that was on his back made a noise and wiggled out of the bath water, retreating past the door, and moving like a worm as far away as possible. The two men looked at each other and turned green, agreeing to never mention this and calmly went on with their baths.

---

Neliel was all smiles when she was walking down the hall towards the bathroom Ichigo had gone into. It might be a little over the top but it was getting really tiresome that he didn't pick up on any of the signals she'd given him. Her jovial mood came to a crashing stop when in front of the door to her prize, something slithered over the top of her barefoot and down the way she came.

The next moments were spent in a bum rush through the door and into the bathwater, treading and flipping out until she'd reach the other side and clearly past Ichigo (and unfortunately, Grimmjow), shaking like a leaf and naked.

"SYAZEL'S ALIVE!" None that everything was slowing down again she looked at the two of them (why were they so close together?) and marched outside of the tub over to them.

"Did either of you know about this?" She wasn't a bitter person, but nothing was going to make her forgive Nnoitra, even if he'd been alive, and Syazel would need to offer a whole lot of answers and ass kissing before she hadn't try to kill him. A fight is one thing. What the two of them had did to her was insulting and unforgivable and she was going to share her feelings with everybody.

"Well?" Neither of them were giving reactions; not questions from Ichigo or those annoying quips from Grimmjow about how she was weak enough to let it get to her. Nothing. Both were looking kind of red in the face, Ichigo more so, but Grimmjow was clutching at the other's shoulder and arm like it were a lifeline.

"Neliel, you forgot your towel." Grimmjow said these words slowly like he was trying to share some great secret with her. Moron.

"It's a bathhouse, why would I need a towel. It's nothing you two haven't seen before you babies." On second thought, they might have never seen a naked woman before. Arrancar didn't always have the most human like bodies and even then uniforms were required, so Grimmjow's experience with a _woman_ might have been down to her, Circuuci, and her replacement, Haribel. Ichigo…

Well, it seems that he wasn't gay, at least.

"GO PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!" Ichigo wasn't caring about the fact that Grimmjow was practically laying on him in the water, just staring up at her which might have been a good or bad thing. His attention was directly on her and it made her feel a bit tingly- not a good place as long as Grimmjow was around.

"Tch, both of you…" She could take care of Syazel later. Instead she went over to the closet and pulled out a longer towel to cover herself up with and dipped back into the water with them. They were still keeping their distance but the red faces subsided. Mostly, anyway.

"Hey Nel, where's your hollow hole? NotthatIwaslookingatyou!" Ichigo went red again and turned around to look at the wall- Grimmjow finally plied himself off the guy and went back against his wall. They were acting like she had something contagious like _cooties_.

She slid into the water and blew out a few bubbles irritably. Grimmjow wasn't laughing yet but that smirk was on his face.

"Not all hollow holes are the same. Sometimes they don't go clear through the body like Grimmjow's." She hadn't answered the question but poor Ichigo was looking so confused over it.

"We called her an air head for the longest time. Nnoitra mostly, until she finally beat him into the ground." She sighed and opened her mouth, pushing her hand and wrist inside of it like she was going to make herself salivate again. Instead she felt the walls of the throats and nose tickle as she pressed her fingers upward, tip of the finer poking through the eyes of her mask. She gave a little wave to Ichigo before pulled her hand out- he was still oddly transfixed on her but she loved the attention.

"Yeah, that. It's a reason I can achieve Cero Doble and others can't. It doesn't mean that I don't have a brain!" There was a bar of soap nearby that was perfect to throw at Grimmjow's head before he made any comments. She'd heard them all before and would very much rather Ichigo no know about any of them.

"Stupid women…" Grimmjow was sulking before leaving the water and telling Ichigo that they were going to finish their fight sooner or later and that he couldn't hide behind me forever. It lacked the malice that she had normally seen come from him.

His calm interest in Ichigo was something she was worried about but it could wait until she'd talked to Szayel and got a real decent explanation for what he did.

---

Things were going upside down in Grimmjow's life. Ulquiorra had always been the one to point out his little mistakes and the things he didn't want people to notice. Aizen knew those things too, but he never did or said anything about them with others around.

He did have those protective feelings towards Neliel and Kurosaki, it was almost impossible not to. His followers were killed in the one night because they were weak fucks that couldn't hold their shit together. If he even dared to try and protect Neliel she would smack him into the ground. Kurosaki made Grimmjow's attempts at politeness obvious and wanted them to end.

That's what it meant to be King here. He'd fight anything that came his way and the security in knowing that there were at least two others that would give an enemy hell was worth it. His Fraccion hadn't been able to do that.

And he wasn't about to let Ulquiorra's new found temper tantrums ruin something that he had in the palm of his hands. _He_ never knew who Neliel was; one of their stronger Espada that, while being a kiss ass to Aizen, managed to whip everybody into shape and still act like the whole damn place was hers without stepping on toes. You just didn't pull some of the shit they did when she was around (like how Luppi died or when people went out to fight the Ryoka). Had she still been with them the Ryoka wouldn't have made it even into Las Noches. That candy coated exterior was her but she didn't mess around.

Kurosaki was something he would _never_ let Ulquiorra tough again. He was his own prey and his newest partner in crime, now that everybody else was gone. Weaklings hadn't been able to keep up with him but Kurosaki could. That fucker had marked him with interest only after Grimmjow had seen something dangerous in him (Aizen too, but Grimmjow never liked counting him). You don't steal someone else's prey. That's all Ulquiorra could ever do was steal someone else's things and not even realise he was doing it.

His hair was still dripping wet from the bath but this was a sight he wasn't going to miss. Almost invisible against the white sand Ulquiorra was running out of Las Noches, hopefully never to come back.

He arched his back with satisfied pops and thought about what they could do for the next few days. Probably after their fight sometime they might want to start ripping apart Aizen's shit for fun or go hunting for some of the weaker beings.

He was getting his way at last and no one was going to take that away from him.


	5. A Scientific Abomination

AN: These chapters are written pretty much a week in advance, and with that being said there will not be an update for a week or two. I just don't have the time in the next week to get something of quality out, so I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Beta: Confusion no Hime

Chapter Five : A Scientific Abomination

Ichigo dug his feet into the sandy floor of another broken part of Las Noches, one that everyone had decided not to even try to fix because it was so wrecked. That was only partially his fault, but now he and Grimmjow were just making another mess out of it by bringing down what few pillars and walls stood around them. Everything was being used as a launching point in their fight because they hadn't come to the bloodiest parts yet.

They were mostly just trying to smack each other around and see how much the other person could take before they had to kill. Grimmjow had made earnest attempts to kill him before but nothing had ever really come out of it and Ichigo wasn't sure if anything would, anymore. He seemed to be happy with his position of being 'King' of Heuco Mundo and everything around them. The scariest part was that he was taking care of everything too. It was obvious why he and Aizen never quite saw eye to eye with one another.

He flipped around to avoid another Cero, ran down the broken rubble and tried to cleave Grimmjow's gut. It hit but the skin didn't break. Grimmjow's heirro wasn't as strong as Nnoitra's but it was still difficult to get decent damage unless it was really meant to be there.

Ichigo adopted a 'don't think about it' mentality with himself, recently, in order to keep living here normally. He certainly wasn't going to start wondering why his skin was suddenly getting harder to cut and his craving for the very salty meat that popped up every now and then.

"Oi, Watch it!" Grimmjow's blade came a little too close to his neck for them to be taking it lightly anymore. All the other did was give him a feral grin back before diving down and trying to cut at his legs.

"Can't keep up?" This was the part he was afraid of but fear had never stopped him before. Even if he did lose control again, Grimmjow wouldn't let him get away with it and Neliel and Ulquiorra would be here to stop him too. He can't be afraid. He was going to prove his friends wrong and get better; get back to normal, go home, and keep fighting to keep people safe.

Fighting against Grimmjow was only step one.

Their attacks went from just hitting each other into cutting and stabbing, the real blood was coming out now. It might have just been a trick of the light, but the differences in his and Grimmjow's blood were slowly disappearing, his becoming darker and darker into a sort of black mess that barely resembled anything human or shinigami. Ichigo realized that it was already happening along the way even before he turned into that monster. He'd even told Ulquiorra as much when he noticed the movements and the power behind his attacks instead of the superficial stuff he'd been looking at before. It was very much like the fights with Byakuya- he was suddenly able to see his moves in ways he couldn't have.

Grimmjow stabbed him in the right side, probably cracking a rib or two. Time to finally try something that used to come naturally.

"Getsuga Tensho!" It had been ages since he'd actually attacked something. That might explain pretty much everything about Grimmjow's personality, as well as some of the other arrancar like him. If there was nothing to fight against for such long expanses of time, well, he must have looked like tremendous fun.

The possibility of becoming like Kenpachi was always enough to keep Ichigo from becoming like that. He didn't always want to fight… but sometimes it was fun. Rukia, who was one of the first to peg him out for loving the Eleventh Division, just might be right about him liking to fight more than he let on.

Sadistically, it was also fun watching Grimmjow's shoulder and sleeve burn from the attack that he couldn't pat out. Obviously he didn't expect Ichigo to really fight back anytime soon.

The next clash was sadly interrupted and backfired on them in disastrous ways.

"Let me join you guys!" Pigfinn was running directly into the middle of the blast zone between a cero and another attack. They barely made it out of those mishaps alright, let alone someone that wasn't anywhere near they're level.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" Grimmjow's right side was torn open somewhat and Ichigo's chest took most of the impact damage; thankfully Pigfinn was alright, if a little scared at how Grimmjow was yelling at him.

"Let him go. He didn't know any better than to get in the fight…" Pigfinn was just looking at him with his big pink eyes. Ichigo was never really sure what to make of him. He was slightly better off than some of the arrancar around and spent most of his free time with Dondochakka and Pesche, but at times he looked just like a little kid. A big eyed, horse like little kid.

That was odd in itself. The strangeness that was everything in Hueco Mundo. In the human world he was a miscreant and labeled a truant (though that became true after he met Rukia) and the Soul Society didn't think much of him either. But here, he and Grimmjow were admirable and considered role models, the things everybody wanted to be.

It was no wonder why Neliel was always trying to get Grimmjow to toe some lines and for him to not slouch or whatever he was doing wrong sometimes.

"Didn't know any better?! Who in their right minds would come between us fighting? Ulquiorra didn't even pull that kind of shit." When Grimmjow looked away and most of his temper died down, Ichigo waved Pigfinn off from more trouble. He'd seen what Grimmjow did to that one girl and no one really deserved to lose their arms like that. He thought that it had something to do with Grimmjow compensating from his own lost arm.

"I think he just wanted to spar with us. Where has Ulquiorra been anyway? I need to talk to him about something but he's been avoiding me." Ichigo was in a glorious rush of adrenaline and optimism. It might have been a fluke accident that one time. He wasn't going to become a monster every time he fought again. However the little cost of that was fatigue, both him and Grimmjow were wobbling on their feet trying not to be the first to collapse.

"Tch. He's got a long way to go before he survives either of us going after him. I bet you could even break through him barehanded." He was never going to understand what Grimmjow thought of anything.

"Where's Ulquiorra though?" They were outside under the real night of Hueco Mundo and the sand shifted enough to blow it into his hair and eyes. Sitting down wouldn't mean that much of a defeat in this situation would it? His ankles were tired of supporting him and the ground was looking awfully comfortable to lay on.

"He left. I told him to get his ass out. No one really cares about him anyways and it's not like he would have made anything better." Whatever illusion he'd had for sitting down was made for him once Grimmjow gave a last half hearted pounce on him. They crash to the ground that dusted up with them both on the ground, Ichigo lying on his back and Grimmjow across him, stomach to stomach.

"Get off me." Grimmjow was heavy but not all the weight was pressing on him. Instead he was like an odd blanket while Ichigo was laying in the sand. There was some wiggling but overall the two became still with their fatigue.

If Grimmjow was keeping him pinned to the ground, then it wasn't that Ichigo was resting but he was there unwillingly. He repeated himself only to realize that Grimmjow was asleep and snoring on him. He'd have to mock him about this later.

---

The door slammed shut but Syazel didn't turn around from his station. Neliel didn't say anything because he knew she was that and it was a waiting game for now. He was cleaned off, for the most part. Even if his normal method of rebirth failed there was always the disgusting cocoon thing that she'd only seen once. He was in his clothes but small scales of goo were still behind his ears and there was a slight pink tinge to his skin.

"You look lovely as always, Neliel." She snorted and leaned against the door, still deciding whether or not to smack him.

"My hair has noodles and seaweed in it." It didn't. He still didn't turn around and went about his business in the lab. He was the most accustomed to the lifestyle set by Aizen and the other shinigami. He never really fit in with other people including his brother and it showed with his interest all things science, his own perfection. His fraccion were barely hollows at all for what little power they had in them.

"And still looking gorgeous. You can make even the dullest weeds seem radiant." He finally turned around but stayed very close to his table. His sword wasn't anywhere to be seen but there was a reason she was keeping her distance. Who knows what that freak show had done to the rooms or could do to her again?

"Compliments aren't going to fix this, Syazel. Why did you help Nnoitra try to kill me?" They were at a standoff, neither of them really appreciated. Without a doubt Syazel was smarter and could trap her into any of his tricks, not to mention his released state, but likewise he couldn't hold up to her physically.

"It wasn't anything personal, Nel, I would have done the same for you if you asked me to. The tension between you both was getting out of control, though it was mostly from his part. I admit I should have been slightly more…responsible in the repercussions of it but we cannot change that, now can we?" He was tinkering with a little switch on the edge of his table when one of his men bouncing fraccion came by with a sample of something.

"So you don't actually have a reason to have done it. You're about as bad as Grimmjow and Nnoitra." Everything was starting to relax between them again. She wasn't going to forgive him for a while but the offense on his face at being compared to those two was enough to please her.

"Now that was just unnecessary. I'm amazed that Grimmjow even made it out of those fights alive and that you are all letting him call himself King." Syazel was speaking nonchalantly, as if he didn't care, but every hollow in Las Noches cared about who their ruler was.

"What, you want the position for yourself? I'd rather let Grimmjow play his little games and just do the right things behind his back." He was interested in something, she just didn't know what. If it was just about being afraid of her he wouldn't even be here, just sweep himself away to the deepest parts of his room that she would never go into.

"Me? No, never. That would just be horrible for myself and whoever stayed around. However, I think there is a little something I can do for you as an apology." Neliel almost didn't want to know what he could do. The boys weren't the only ones that could turn green in the face at some of his flaunted actions and 'gifts'.

"You must admit that silly little crush you have on the Vizard is hilarious. Out of all of you, except maybe Zomari, hated shinigami with a zealous passion and now you've got a crush on one." Neliel hadn't when people brought that up, but Ichigo wasn't a shinigami. She'd seen his mask with her own eyes and felt his power; it wasn't like the things that hunted her and her friends.

"What's your point? And he's not a shinigami." Szayel finally moved from his spot and went around into a locked container, spanning from the floor up until the ceiling, and pressed sets of numbers and different locks. She'd never seen him keep something under this much security before.

"No, he is not a shinigami anymore. He is a shinigami that gained the powers of a hollow, a Vizard, but they are still more akin to shinigami than to us, Nel. But what would you say if I could fix that for you? I dare say it could put this whole messy business of my …slip, in attitude if you will, behind us." Szayel wanted to be left alone in his labs and no one to bother him; it wouldn't be hard to grant that. No one wanted to be near him during his creepiest days anyway.

"What can you fix?" From out of the container he pulled out the Hyougyoku, fully complete and pulsing with power.

"Well, for starters I can make your little pet an Arrancar like the rest of us, if you want." Neliel swallowed and everything went internalized. Her focus was on the little black ball of distortion and she could hear and feel the blood being pumped through her. It was too good to be true.

There wouldn't be any confliction between them. He would finally accept what he is and he'd never try to leave them, he'd really and honestly be one of them now. They wouldn't have to worry about the dangers of keeping a- they wouldn't have to worry about Ichigo.

"Szayel…I can't make this choice for him." She couldn't even if every part of her wanted to say 'yes' and bring Ichigo into the fold.

"Well if you change your mind the offer is there. Now if you'll excuse me there are some tasks I have to deal with." Neliel still couldn't believe what was being offered but didn't want to stay and ask him more questions. Whether or not she was gone he would start his experiments again; most of which were not very pleasant too look at or hear if his poor victims were being kept alive for 'research'.

---

They were back at the window they often visited but the quiet conversations they normally had weren't being spoken. It was like they both knew something tense was in the air even though he had no idea what it was on her side. The reality of the past few months were now finally starting to hit to his head and make his feel edgy and restless. His friends and family were all unaccounted to him just as Aizen and the top three Espada were for the others. The fear and guilt in himself had subsided into the irritation of not knowing and not being able to do anything about it.

"Ichigo can I ask you something?" She hadn't looked at him all this time and played with the ends of her sleeves like she did whenever she was nervous. Grimmjow said something about her finally seeing that Szayel person today and how it would probably have freaked her out.

"Sure."

"How did this all start for you? I mean not just coming here; I mean the shinigami, everything." That was what she wanted to know? Ichigo didn't even know where to begin on that one, it was so loaded.

If he wanted to be extremely technical about it, it started sometime before he started school and saw the few dead people in his dad's clinic try to hold their sobbing relatives and all the people floating around and begging him to talk to their families or just to talk to them. That all of his life ghosts were as real to him as people.

Or they could start all the fights he got into for being a 'freak'. The real reason his curfew was so strict wasn't just for the family's dinner but after so many phone calls from the police and neighborhood watches saying that he was out at night and probably doing illegal things made his dad step in. If he was home early every night they wouldn't blame him for anything; and if he were normal he'd never pay as much attention to the world he could only see.

He'd also have missed Rukia's visit to his house. It seemed like a good place to start. He had been quiet for a few minutes, trying to think of how everything had started and just how unreal it all seemed. Days that had passed by like months and even years were filtered by the average day at school. He was terrible with names to begin with but now he could barely put a face to the names of his classmates.

"Well one night a shinigami came into my room, Rukia, and then this hollow started to attack my family…" He went on from there, talking about Orihime and her brother, the fights with Kon, meeting Geta Boshi for the first time, Don Kanonji, and his mouth was dry by the time they'd only gotten to the fight with Grand Fisher. He was such an idiot then, barely able to do anything.

"You stopped. Is this when the shinigami pressed charges onto your shinigami friend? We've heard a bit about that from Aizen and Ichimaru, from time to time." She had asked a few questions every now and then but paid attention in a vague sort of way. Ichigo felt like he was just talking to waste time and would have most likely stopped way before if somebody besides Nel had asked him to do this.

"No. But it's around now that I was certain what I wanted to do as a shinigami." That made her a little mad and he knew it but it was something he had to say. She was always trying to get him to act a like the shinigami were his enemy too.

"I got into my second fight with Grand Fisher."

"Second? I've heard of what he does and he never went after human your age before." He wanted to yell at her for being so stupid, for saying that so carelessly that dozens of innocent children died to feed that thing. Irrational rage filled him up and he wasn't going to hit her, but he wasn't going to pretend and be nice either.

"The first time he attacked me I was a kid and he killed my mother. The second time he decided to use her as bait against me. After that I swore I wouldn't let any more innocent people get hurt by hollows." He expected her to flip out at making them seem like monsters. Maybe hit him and start telling him that they've changed thanks to Aizen-sama but she didn't. Neliel wasn't looking at him either but that meant nothing.

"You were a hollow's prey?" She sounded like she didn't believe it. What, did she think? That Ichigo just sprang out of nowhere just to kill hollows and Aizen?

"I didn't know that, Ichigo. You never told any of us about that…" Ichigo didn't understand why she looked really bothered by it. This was his private business and no one really knew about it- there was no reason to tell them just because he was stuck here for a while.

"Yeah, well, it's not something I talk about a lot. After that whole mess there was this stupid contest with Ishida and we nearly got the whole town wrecked. Chad and Orihime met Geta Boshi then, too, but it wasn't until Byakuya and Renji, the one with the red hair, came for Rukia that we really started getting better." There was no reason for him to continue this conversation other than to finish it for her because she wanted the full story. Or at least he thought so until she finally turned to face him.

"Stop it. I don't want to hear any more about your Inoue or that shinigami of yours." Ichigo sighed and shrugged his shoulders- Neliel was getting up and crawling over towards him.

"But if you want to know what happens I have to include-" He didn't see it coming. What was going to be another exasperating sentence was cut off by Nel kissing him on the lips. There wasn't much room between them and he could feel her breasts brushing against the edge of his chest. She pulled away only enough to let him breathe.

"Is this enough for you?" He felt the words more than he heard them.


	6. The worm, your honor, him and me alone

AN: To make up for not posting for two weeks and a glorious snow day for me, here's the next chapter a day early. Please tell me what you think of this so far.

Beta : Confusion no Hime

Chapter Six : The worm, your honor, him and me alone

"Neliel, it is quite the shame if you're both done already, but from that look on your face it seems as if neither one of you had a good time, for lack of trying- what? Did he start to cry and call you mommy?" Finding Grimmjow and Szayel together wasn't her intention but it saved her a long and lengthy trip all around Las Noches and whining from one or the other. What Szayel wanted to speak to Grimmjow about was something puzzling since they weren't fighting. Grimmjow was actually distracted from them both arranging pillows and various bed pieces around in a smaller room than his own far away from the central place.

It looked as if they're new 'King' wanted quarters closer to the stronghold of their fort, even if he was only one of the major people who played a part in destroying it. For everything he destroyed and wanted to break his nest was always well taken care of and overstuffed with pillows and blankets. Most of the time he simply laid on them instead of for warmth but they were always put back in pristine condition.

Come to think of it, that was odd. While he hadn't mourned the loss of his Fraccion he had kept their beds in the same room with him as he'd always done. If you were a part of Grimmjow's family, and they were even if he wanted to call them his servants, they were always kept with him. He didn't trust many of the other Espada in Las Noches but nobody really did.

"Say one more god damn word about it Szayel and you won't be able to _breathe, _hear me?!" She was ashamed and angry, a mess and rejected. Rejected. The tension in which she spoke to Szayel made Grimmjow look up at them in disbelief. His face was almost shocked.

"Are you serious? You _still_ can't get Kurosaki to fuck you? What have you been doing this whole time!" She would have been surprised at his concern over this matter if she didn't want to hurt something or somebody first. Grimmjow had nothing to lose and his ego was just fine.

Ichigo didn't have a problem fighting with him at a moment's notice, or having Grimmjow fall asleep on him whenever it was pleasing. Hell, Grimmjow managed to touch Ichigo more often than she was able to and he had the nerve to stand there along with Szayel and laugh at her, as if that was all her life amounted to now. Neliel was more than a little upset.

The heat came back to her face and her throat was dry but she wasn't going to start crying in front of those two. Sex had never been easy for her, most of it had been unfulfilling until she discovered her little masochistic streak and borderline abusive affection that got her off. The personalities that came with those partners willing to do so were not as much enjoyed. In fact one of them put her where she was right now.

She'd the tiniest crush possible on Grimmjow for years but nothing would ever come from it because she hated so many other parts of him and she did absolutely nothing for his pleasure. That was another quirk that not many people wanted to talk about (or they had that conversation behind his back about _why_ he was always chasing after Ichigo). He would never see anything appealing in her even if he joked about it; he was all talk and no action when it came to any sort of proposition with her.

Nnoitra… had been a desperate, needful failure. It hadn't even lasted long before she realized that there was no thrill for pleasure between the two of them. Nnoitra just wanted to hurt her and sex had become as dull and uninspiring as it had before.

But Ichigo was _perfect_ and he proved it in how he rejected her so soundly. Not saying anything to her question and not moving. He didn't do anything to or against her, like he never even considered anything like that with her.

All she had asked him was if this world were enough from him. Everybody was selfish but if she could just make Ichigo at peace with it they could have a _life_ instead of just surviving everything as it came their way. He had nothing to say and wouldn't move from his spot. The embarrassment moved her fast than a fight did and it was sickening how weak it made her.

Everything about her love for Ichigo hurt her. It hurt her pride and her honor, everything she thought she stood for and fought for, and it hurt her ego to see someone so easily dismiss her without consideration. His surly charm and that heart of his kept him from being an asshole about it. Everything she wanted.

"He's never going to accept himself as one of us. Szayel… he'll hate me. Ichigo would never forgive me for it but do it and make him like us. I can't handle it anymore and he'll never move on if we don't." It was vertigo and numbing. She felt his lips move but didn't have any of the feeling associated with it and the lights were making her dizzy.

Grimmjow, from his newly furnished bedside, looked over at her with a question on the tip of his tongue.

"What're you going to do? No one deserves to have to have sex with that thing over there; I'll do it. Seems to like me better than you anyway." He laughed but it cooled down once he realized that neither of them were mad. She was hurt but Szayel was amused.

"I've never seen a Vizard being converted into an Arrancar before. No one has and we'll be the first. Probably the last, too, because shinigami don't often take those practices into consideration past their nightmares." The wall was her friend and it was the only thing keeping her up now. Grimmjow, on the other hand, found a new vigor in his step and shot up immediately.

"No. You are not making him into one of us like that. The fucking kid is a vizard and he's staying like that!"

"Oh what the hell is it to you Grimmjow?! Let him be one of us you selfish basterd!" Neliel shrieked at him but Grimmjow wasn't angry; he was worried. He had even stopped fiddling with his pillows completely to snarl at her and turned to Szayel.

"The hell are you playing at? Kurosaki can't be an arrancar." Neliel couldn't imagine why he was so against it. Ichigo would be a fine arrancar once he got used to it and more importantly he'd stay in Hueco Mundo instead of leaving them all alone. It was all about keeping them together for the rest of their time. None of them wanted to be lonely anymore.

"Feeling threatened yet, _King?_" Szayel walked to the other side of the room closer to her and crossed his arm with a smug look.

"What is Grimmjow worrying about, Szayel?" Whatever disagreement Grimmjow was imagining had to be fixed. Soon enough everything would be grand and they'd be happy with everything. Something was always tense in the air as if they were waiting for something to happen. Aizen to return. A shinigami to come. Anybody to tell them anything but waiting and Grimmjow _could not_ wreck their peace with his over paranoid imagination.

Neliel chose to ignore the fact that she had yet to even get Ichigo to accept her, let alone live a life with her.

"It's obvious Nel, you are a superb judge of character. Everything you say your shinigami toy is, he really is. Strong, dedicated, honest, and he has an odd charismatic charm with that frown of his. If _he_ were to be an arrancar, why there wouldn't be any competition for King. It would be him, without a doubt and our poor Grimmjow here can't handle it." Grimmjow was pale and white as the room locking his eyes onto Szayel.

"You see, to Grimmjow, your Ichigo has been a good little boy. Fights when they were wanted, no trying to undermine his authority, and yet Grimmjow still considers him a friend; yes, we all know about your pack mentality."

---

Ichigo was watching Loly, Menoly, and Pigfinn fight in the same spot he and Grimmjow had not too long ago. What was especially strange was seeing little Pigfinn, all long gangly limbs trying the same things he and Grimmjow had. The flip off of one of the destroyed columns failed horribly for him but he kept getting up and trying it again. Menoly was more patient with him while Loly fired the ceros with the one arm she had left.

From here Loly was doing the better job as a teacher and it would be fantastic if she were just a little nicer.

"RAAAAAAAAWR" Pigfinn stumbled again at the sound of a hollow ripping through the sand and coming up towards them with a claw the size of Ichigo's own leg. Loly moved in front of the boy and pulled out her sword while Menoly dragged him back over to where he was standing.

"Ichigo, sir, would you go help her, please?" Menoly was crouching down at her knees but not looking at him. Loly was down in the sand fighting off whatever hollow laid beneath it trying to get a good hit it. It was obvious she wasn't used to fighting with her one arm.

"Why would he want to help her?! All she does is yell at everybody." Pigfinn clamored off of the ground and popped his head around his elbow, waiting to see Loly get hurt from the fight. As far as Ichigo knew they didn't have typical healers anymore and if she didn't regenerate her arm by now, it is doubtful she could lose anything else and still survive.

"You don't want to go down there and help her out?" Ichigo wasn't going to let any of them die but why didn't two friends want to help each other? It made everything he'd thought with Nel all the more buggered. Did hollows have emotions or not?

When she had asked him if it was enough Ichigo couldn't say "No". He was never able to say no to her even if it hurt her feelings. That kiss wasn't enough for him and if Nel kept acting like she did it never would be. It was different from the teasing some women in his life forced him through. He cared about and liked it when she smiled. They argued and had fun, at the end of the day neither one of them won the argument or lost it while they ate dinner. She bandaged him up after his fights and he watched her in the rare ones she had.

But how many woman and men went into the creation of Neliel? Her family, probably, had to be the first eaten and then maybe whatever lover or husband she had. Then the other plus souls laying around wishing they could leave into the next life. In Nel's wonderful personality and the wild beauty of hers there were mothers and sisters, a nephew that someone never saw, and dozens of other people. How many souls did she consume to become who she was made Ichigo weary.

He still didn't think that kiss was enough. There were things he wanted to do with her that he wouldn't have even thought about a few months back. You don't live in the same house as his father and have a libido worth anything and between the shinigami fights it never occurred to him.

_Everything_ seemed like a good idea with Nel. He had more than some vague ideas of how everything worked, thanks mostly to his friends, but he would never push it too her. Nel shouldn't feel like she was obligated into doing anything even if he had the nerve to do so.

"She wouldn't let me help her. Her pride was already gone once Grimmjow took her arm away…if I were interrupt this she would never forgive me." While Menoly was saying this Loly was giving the mostly hidden hollow a hell of a fight, blasting just the right places to get it to show more of itself. That claw that reached out for them was only one of many and it seems to be like braches, all different limbs rooting off of one body and then branching off even more. It hadn't yet fired a cero but Ichigo couldn't imagine Loly being able to avoid one from how in deep the middle she was into.

There it was. The air shifted around them and one of the arms stood still instead of winding around dangerously, with energy pooling at the tip. It didn't take more than a second even without bankai to reach the hollow and cut off the offending arm and stopping the cero before Loly even noticed the danger.

"Get out of here. I don't need _your_ help." She stabbed the hollow a few more times but Ichigo finished it off by cutting off the head like Rukia had taught him to. Loly was not very pleased.

"I said I didn't need your help!" He'd had about enough of her attitude and marched over to her. Ichigo reached up and grabbed the back of her head and forced her to look at the ground while he started yelling at her. Loly trembled when he put her down probably because she was afraid that he was going to punish her too.

"Stop it already. Your friends up there are tired of dealing with you like this. You need your friends to help you so don't shut them out, okay?!" He liked Loly, only a bit. She was as hardheaded as Karin was and he tried to get that out of her. He didn't want her to have the trouble he did during Middle School. Yuzu would be fine because could deal with people teasing her a bit and was generally more well liked.

Karin took to finding trouble like him, and a bit like Loly. His friends always had to put up with him and the least he could take the trouble off of Menoly and Pigfinn.

He wanted to kick himself too just for that. He shouldn't be worrying about the friendships of hollows that had attacked Inoue and served Aizen like he were really a god. Worse yet that he was seeing his little sister in these people. He was really starting to lose sight of what was okay for him to think and how much of it was his choice or him just becoming used to this life? When he would leave Hueco Mundo someday, Ichigo didn't think he could go back to just killing the hollows that tried to be their own people.

Even now, in the root like hollow they had killed was bringing a sadness into him like he failed someone. At the end of everything, now, he would never be able to be a decent shinigami again and he had become unable to protect people anymore. He was protecting arrancar, better monsters but still a monster.

"Yes,sir." He let go of her head and she looked at him in confusion like she was still expecting him to rip off her other arm or a leg.

"Go on, get out of here." She dashed off to where Menoly and Pigfinn were waiting for her, a bit hesitant like she was going to take his words to heart.

He was defunct now. He had no passion to fight hollows anymore. In his mind he thought of Las Noches as home once or twice from the few times he'd run out into the desert with Grimmjow. His feelings for Nel weren't normal for a shinigami either.

Even if he could, Ichigo felt that he would never be able to go back home. At a time, like now, he doubted he wanted to.

---

"So now this is all about you being jealous of Ichigo? You know that's stupid! He doesn't want to be King let alone take it away from you. He barely cares about us as it is." Neliel was following Grimmjow around the hallways of Las Noches trying to convince Grimmjow to help them with the Ichigo problem. They would not be able to hold Ichigo down long enough for Szayel's experiment to work on Ichigo.

Grimmjow could imagine the kind of hollow Ichigo would become. A very strong one. He'd already showed the signs of being able to regenerate his wounds if left alone for a while, coupled with his grasp on physical fighting style that he just didn't have. He did have more muscle, but the human techniques of fighting were something strange to them. If Ichigo were to become a full hollow there was no guarantee of the victory.

And that's if he managed to keep his mind. It wouldn't be the first time a hollow with the Hyougyoku went insane and tried to kill everything around them. Neliel was seeing this whole thing as getting her little paradise here. He wasn't so optimistic. There wasn't even the possibly that he would forgive Neliel for what she planned to do and that would just weaken _him_. There was nothing to gain from this idea than a permanent chain for Kurosaki to this world, not this palace.

Loly and Menoly were walking passed them in the quick way they normally did whenever they came by Grimmjow, but their voices could be heard before and after.

"Ichigo-sama is very nice, especially to you."

"He…didn't kill me, why not?"

"I'm glad he set you straight, Loly, he's like Aizen-sama."

"You're right."

Grimmjow wanted to scream at the two but they were gone, not even thinking of what their conversation was antagonizing. Neliel stopped walking and looked like she was trying to figure out a way to smooth that over. Impossible.

"Grimmjow it's not what you think…"

"Think? I ain't thinking shit, all I know is that if Kurosaki ends up an arrancar I'll have to kill him." Grimmjow didn't want to have to kill Ichigo. He was a part of his pack now, but if he would go about and do something to fight against _his_ right to be King then he would destroy him. He got rid of Ulquiorra and he would do it to him too.

Speaking of people he didn't want to see, Kurosaki, was stumbling down the hallways to reach them, fumbling like he was drunk and dazed. He barely saw them as they were coming up , walking with the wall keeping him up. It was enough that he smelled like food and there were stains of black blood all around his face. Neliel, of course, rushed right over to him and started asking what happened.

Their eyes met for a minute until Kurosaki ducked his head down and closer to Neliel's shoulder.

"Can I talk to her alone, please?" He looked like he did when they first woke up. Grimmjow couldn't break him now; it just wouldn't work.

He stunk like a weak hollow.


	7. Burst it Out

AN: Storry it's a bit late, midterms really knocked me for a loop.

Warning: Sex involved with this chapter.

Beta: Confusion no Hime

Chapter Seven: Burst it Out

"Ichigo, what are you doing?" Grimmjow left them quickly but gave her a look. She was going to have to make Ichigo realize what was going on but there was a strong smell coming off of him that made her hot and wet with a pleasant pain, making everything a little more difficult to articulate. He went into his pocket and took something black and moist-- his clothes were getting stained, too, and ripped it apart with his teeth. Where as he used to keep his eyes averted, he looked directly at her and swallowed. Just the sight of it made her knees weak.

The image he presented to her after the rejection was not fair at all.

"Nel I can't take you anymore." His hand was covered with a hollow's blood. He'd been eating something he had killed; mostly likely the reason Loly and Menoly had a sudden respect for him. But now the hands were pushing her shoulders against the wall and he wasn't letting her breathe. They were physically closer than they had been and it aroused her to see this new found aggression in him.

He stopped kissing her and turned his head to rest on the wall behind her without letting go of her shoulders.

"Kissing you isn't enough, Nel. I do want more." It was her turn. He wasn't expecting her to knock him down to the floor and straddle him. All it took was some gentle rubbing to get things going faster and make their intentions an actuality. Ichigo was already getting hard with only a bit of an unsure look to him.

"That had better be a promise." Nel kissed him and let her weight pin him closer to the floor while he bucked up at her. She swallowed the groan because this wasn't the place for it.

"This way." She pulled him along when the stumbled into Grimmjow's room- he wouldn't mind too much. Well, he shouldn't at least and if he did complain she'd tell him it was to help all of them. They crashed into the pillows he had so carefully arranged, they're clothes going with the other white fabrics around the room. There would be time to take things slow and make Ichigo hers later but now, it was time for a nice hard fuck.

"I'm not sure what to do…" Even as Ichigo said that, his hands left the sides of her breasts and slid down between her thighs; he was almost looking surprised at how wet his hand was already just because of some casual brushing. Some encouragement was needed to get him to work on it but soon two, and three, fingers were pumping inside of her and made her squirm in all of the right ways.

His fingers were rough with inexperience but just watching his concentration on her made it all worth it and Neliel found herself panting at quicker movements. By accident, purely, his thumb ran along her clit and she was on fire. The blood rushing from her toes; pleasure was getting built, stronger and ready to let her go when he stopped.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Neliel wanted to scream and she did.

"No, NO! Don't stop it!" Before all the feeling left her; and it already was because the still fingers half in her and half not were just becoming uncomfortable and the smell of sex didn't have the effect it should. Ichigo took her words and got back at it again, getting daring, hiking her legs into the air to make his fingering easier.

---

She did orgasm this time and Ichigo knew it. His fingers were covered in a thicker white liquid than he had felt before. Nel came with a howl and fell back shivering a bit but otherwise, she looked satisfied.

He had done that to her. Even now the muscles down there were clamping against his fingers. He slid them out and wiped his hand off along his leg, trying not to rub against his dick. It was impossible not to hear some locker room talk on how to have sex, especially from Mizuiro.

Who the hell would have known that his advice would be the best he had? Apparently girls didn't think it was okay to jack off during sex. Apparently he wouldn't have to. Nel looked up at him and smirked, leaning forward to bite his lip.

"That better not be all, Ichigo." Nel's hand was a bit cold but if possible he got harder when she ran his hand down his dick and brought himself closer to her, her legs closer around his back. She gave a moan while he got used to the new feeling. Everything was so tight around him and when he started thrusting back and forth, the friction was amazing.

He didn't know what to hold on to so he wrapped his arms around Nel's neck, pressing their bodies' together from groin to chest seemed like a good idea. She thought so too, because her hands slid up his back and dug her nails into his shoulder. His thrusts shook them both but things got really interesting when she was bucking up too.

"Urgh, Nel!" He gave a few more thrusts before he came on her and sagged against her shoulder, both of them breathing heavily and sticky with their sweat and sex. They still weren't unwound from each other and he wasn't planning on letting her go anytime soon.

It was all very blurry for him and his reasons. One minute he was wondering 'why not' and the next he was fucking Neliel into her bed, but wasn't that how most things happened with him? This, though, had been the first time that he gave up, losing felt so good and calming. That craving he had for the taste of other hollows hadn't gone away since Grimmjow had given him those pieces; as a matter of fact it became worse, like an addiction. A really filling meal like he'd been hungry and just scrapping by the few months he'd been abandoned there. It was fairly clear that his friends and allies didn't want him anymore. To them he was now a hollow just as much as Grimmjow was, all for one mistake.

It wasn't fair to him. And he hadn't been fair to Nel, who only wanted what any other person would want; a family and a home. Who cared about how many troubled spirits were used to make Nel for who she was? So he ate the hollow he had killed and everything was alive and tasty again. Like meat used to taste in stir fry; heavy but it slid down and tasted best when it's cold. It filled him. It made him feel better and not as lethargic as he was starting to get. The hunger pains had gone away. Even if he didn't have that hole in his chest anymore he was more hollow than a shinigami now.

A sword. Shinigami, Vizards, and even the Arrancar had them now. The hollow abilities shared only between the Vizard and Arrancar. But Kido, well, he had never learned any of it. I mean it was possible for him to learn but not anymore-- he was just as stunted with it as the other arrancars.

The feelings of indecision and wrongness about including himself with the arrancars were now gone by his own choice. He had taken bites of the other hollows that never realized it was going to be prey.

Ichigo was comfortable with all of it now. The time had pretty much evened out for him now that the spring he had spent under Rukia's guidance and then until October when he broke the Shinigami's orders; it had all taken something less than a year for him with days that might have stretched out for months. He had been in Las Noches now for the better part of four, or maybe five, months and it was about time for him to stop fighting what he was becoming. The home he had thought about was Las Noches and it was sparring with Grimmjow, not Renji or Ikkaku that passed the time. He was always being teased by Nel and not one of the silly girls at school (school, which had become something so incredibly distant he hadn't even thought about it until it was about time for their winter finals. He had been helping rebuild that day).

If he had really become a shinigami for Rukia why shouldn't be a hollow for Nel?

Ichigo held her a little tighter and fell asleep in all of the pillows and blankets, happy that his skin wasn't bothered by their rough texture anymore.

---

There was even less to discover and look for than the last time he had prowled around his own area of discontent. At least when he'd been a solitary creature he didn't have the burden of expecting anything from any other person even if it was something highly annoying or completely illogical. Sometimes they were simply just wrong.

But back to his home, or what the typical characterization of what it must have been, Ulquiorra could find no reason to settle and to stay despite what a small group of not even Gillian-leveled hollows begged of him. He didn't consume them because he no longer had to and ingesting that trash could only maker him weaker or serve no purpose what so ever.

Dimly, he thought, that much of what he surrounded himself with and what would relate to him was nothing or trash. And none of his questions were answered, given the fact that the only one who could answer, the Kurosaki half thing, would probably not help him terribly.

Ulquiorra still hadn't managed to say the Inoue girl's name out loud even though the pesky things that followed him claimed to have heard him saying it. Nothing was worth brining her around or even back to the memories that he barely had. It was completely unfair to have something so in his grasp but unable to figure out what it was.

There was a clear and concise thought he had as he died and it was gone. It felt worse than when the soul chain he had as a human spirit had ate itself to nothing; still it was eating him to nothing and surrounding himself in nothing.

"Leave me alone." The largest one, some sort of conglomeration of a turtle and a bison, dug it's hooves into the sand and bucked its chest up. The other hollows hid behind it. The smallest, barely reaching his knee, scuttled up towards him and invaded the personal space he had kept. Their names were absolutely inconsequential and he would have peace at night without even caring about offended feelings. Why he had spent time finding these pathetic creatures food was beyond him and his understanding. His instincts did not normally call for the care of others no matter how pathetic they might seem. They will not appreciate it either, no matter what they do or say. They'll just look at someone else to save them from the trouble they caused and did nothing to get themselves out of.

Ulquiorra realized that last thought might have been a stretch and looked down at the creature begging him to stay. That they needed protection and he was so strong and nice. They weren't afraid of him, honestly.

She had been terrified and had beena pathetic liar.

He unsheathed his sword, something he kept with him no matter what he'd done against Aizen's orders (or hers) and stabbed the little thing in the neck, watching it choke and fade into nothing, leaving little more than a blood stain on his feet and pants.

The group started screaming while the bull thing charged at him. It was a swift and decisive motion that followed before he, too, was laying prostrated on the sandy floor and coughing up dying breaths. Dying hurt. It wasn't something that he wanted to experience again but undoubtedly would.

Everything that was as apathetic as he was faded away in time. Everything stationary in the rocks and quartz trees didn't care. He didn't. Ergo, he was just being there as well.

It didn't bother him in the least that Las Noches was still in sight and that he hadn't left its proximity since he chose to avoid Grimmjow and Kurosaki. It would be completely unfathomable to think that he was frightened of them and couldn't go without Aizen's protection- or that; worse, he would feel as if he weren't good enough or cared enough for to be compared against the two. Unreasonable, that was all.

Grimmjow had been right about some things. He was correct in assuming that the process of arrancarization would stunt the growth of all the hollows nearby. There was no need to hunt for food now even if Ulquiorra wanted to. There had been times when he felt consuming nothing around him and wondered if it wouldn't be a better idea to let himself fall and become a mindless Gillian and glide through the rest of his afterlife until he would either be consumed or released by a shinigami. In his death he had gotten neither. There was truly no point to himself anymore.

He missed them. Even their most annoying traits, as he realized when he saw the empty bed Yammy was supposed to be sleeping in. He hadn't made it out of the fights alive either but Yammy was…companionable, even if a little simple and unaware of what power he could really have. All that was left now besides the fairly nameless hordes were Grimmjow and Kurosaki. That woman was there too, but she was before him and the two of them seemed too acquainted with her for his care.

It would be too vulgar of an assumption of him to wonder if she was passed around between the two of them. Good thing he didn't make those mistakes.

But something would have to be done. Las Noches was still within his sights and there was no rush and plenty of time for everything. He had traversed the area and found nothing to change his opinion on the matters he concerned himself with leaving. Kurosaki wasn't hunting him and staying away would bring far too much delight to Grimmjow.

Ulquiorra walked away from the bodies he left laying in the sand, unmarked, and started the slow walk back to his home. There was at least a floor and a few walls he could call his own and that was where everything should start again.

She still wouldn't be there, so it was perfectly fine.

---

The stone in his hand was cracking just by him grabbing it. Grimmjow wanted to take the pieces and through them at the fucking lovely ass couple sleeping in his bed as if they had the right. It meant so many things and that bitch knew it.

He didn't care if she napped there. Hell, she would kick him out and he would be fine with that to a point. Neliel was used to getting her way and he just let her go around and do as she pleased; it never caused him any harm.

If Kurosaki was sleeping in his bed alone like that he might have enjoyed it even more. It was pretty obvious what they did between all their clothes laying around and the bite marks all over Neliel's breasts and neck. She probably wasn't even aware that her rack was hanging out of the blankets for everyone to see, even though Kurosaki would be the only one to enjoy that little image.

But the problem was that Kurosaki wasn't there by his invitation or enjoyment. Between those fucking brats acting like he was going to be the new King and Neliel's threats to make him into a real arrancar, Grimmjow couldn't stomach it. Everything was going great until Kurosaki smiled and fucking acted like a hero again. The fucker doesn't even realize that he makes people worry about their power and that's why he was left in Hueco Mundo. He might think it was because of his hollow but that was only a guess. He never really asked about it from anyone but Neliel who tried to shelter him from everything.

That Captain with the long hair actually slapped the tiny girl when she screamed that it was wrong. None of his so called friends and allies cared that he was part hollow- some of the other things like him were fighting with the shinigami anyway, the weird they were.

The freak with the face make-up wanted to bring him out, though, just so he could be cut into pieces before he turned his eyes toward him. Neliel stopped them all and promised that she wouldn't let them leave. The damn woman was in hysterics by that point and the rest of the Ryoka had to be subdued.

Kurosaki made people afraid for their power. But they just didn't know how to handle him. Sure he was angry enough to rip him apart just a few hours ago but he walked off and let it work off of him.

"Wake up. I said wake up, Kurosaki." Grimmjow picked up his foot and pressed it into Kurosaki's shoulder trying to force him awake. It did the trick.

"Wha-what?! What the hell, Grimmjow!" He didn't realize how naked he was or that Neliel was still next to him; Grimmjow would have laughed about it later when she was listening.

'_Yeah, you know the guy you finally got to fuck you? Well I woke up and he crawled out of bed for me.'_

It was a really petty game between the two of them that they hadn't done for a while. Mostly because she was a kid and he wasn't going to try and fuck Nnoitra if Aizen promised to kiss his ass.

"The hell are you doing in my bed Kurosaki? You couldn't wait till later to fuck her up the walls?" How he didn't get whiplash Grimmjow didn't know, but he quickly turned back and forth between Neliel's exposed state, his disturbed blankets, and Grimmjow, then back again. His face crept into the dangerously red zones before he spluttered.

Grimmjow laughed watching him decide whether he wanted to dig himself into the covers or scream and run away naked. He settled on curling into the covers and keeping away from Neliel's grip as futile as it was. Good. Let him freak out about it all for a few minutes. All of this shit about Kurosaki being a kid would be settled quickly in the morning; it was pretty obvious that he didn't want it and it was just some shit being stirred up for boredom.

He would have to make sure things were kept lively from now on.

Grimmjow stripped off his shirt and let it fall with the pile of clothes already there. It didn't help Kurosaki's freak out that much but it was his goddamn bed and just because those two wanted to get cozy in it didn't mean he was going without sleep in it tonight.

"Shut the hell up and go back to sleep." The beds on the other side of the room were for them but this would be a welcome change. Kurosaki was sandwiched between the two of them and Neliel's leg was over them both, his own arms going haphazardly over his head.

"This is so damn weird…" Kurosaki was complaining about it but there didn't seem to be much argument when he turned over to his side and got comfortable between the two of them.

All the lights went out and they fell asleep.


	8. Hang my Head

AN: That was very uncool of me. Expect the next chapter early too to make up for that little lapse in attentiveness. Thanks for everyone that's favorited, watched, and especially reviewed. I do read all of them believe it or not and they all make me smile.

Beta: Confusion no Hime

Chapter Eight: Hang my Head

All the lights were out and it was disrupting his work. There were back-up generators for situations such as this, but this wasn't one of Ichimaru's pranks gone too far. Las Noches had officially been cut off from Aizen too long and his power wasn't keeping anything lit anymore.

It wasn't so taxing that it constantly drained reiatsu, but it needed something to keep everything going. Szayel was going to have to get their dear and noble 'king' to do something about this before all of his work was lost for good, truly unavoidable mishaps that they would never recover from.

Szayel didn't lie when he said he had no desire to be King over anything-- he would leave that dispute between Grimmjow and the Vizard. The only reason he wanted Neliel's little pet to try and take the mantle is because it would offer him exponentially more freedom, such as now. The kid could be blackmailed into doing things he didn't want to do, much easier than it was to manipulate Grimmjow. Pride had forbidden him to actually ask Grimmjow for help.

He was at Grimmjow's door soon enough and chose not to laugh at what was behind the door. A shut door could only stop people from seeing inside the damned place but their reiatsu was a clear indication enough; it seemed that Neliel got what she wanted after all.

"Wake up and fix this." He said it once but the problem was that he would most likely have to say it again. They were all in a dead sleep in there and while he abhorred invading their privacy, such things must be done. The lights were going out even on the bottom floors now and it was causing chaos, especially with the arrancars that weren't used to the dark anymore. It was really becoming quite a problem that they were having these useless things that weren't strong enough to grow past almost childhood but also lost their instincts as hollows. If they weren't touched by the Hyougyoku and nestled here for safety, they would have been eaten ages ago.

"I'm opening the door now so please cover yourselves." They still didn't hear him but that was the only warning they were getting. He was going to shove them all out of the bed whether they liked it or not because there were some very delicate procedures being done that required both his attention and energy beyond the back-ups. As much as he had said to the shinigami that confronted him, Szayel wasn't about to let his brother stay needlessly dead even if Grimmjow was the one who got him killed in the first place.

Szayel slammed the door open, making sure that it was loud enough to jostle everyone out of their sleeping or other active overtures whatever it might have been.

"Shut the goddamn door!" Grimmjow was only lacking his shirt and probably hadn't been a part of the fun that night. He probably wouldn't ever be either. Grimmjow was such a puzzle to the other Espada except maybe Stark. They remained largely away from sex itself instead of festering in it like some of them had. There was a reason many of the female looking arrancars banded together for protection. Even Neliel had stayed around her brothers unless she wished for it.

Kurosaki was beet red and huddled in the blankets like he was trying to bumble through the floor and away from this entire scene. Not that he would go too far without his pants which were just a few paces from the door. Neliel was even blushing at her lack of clothing-- and wait, just how many bite marks were all over her? She certainly had gotten exactly what she wanted.

"Grimmjow, the lights are out and you need to fix it." Grimmjow was looking irritated when he got up and scooped his shirt off of the floor. He looked back at the messed-all-over bed and back into the doorway. This man would never really understand what he wanted. They had gone a few hallways before he wondered if Grimmjow even knew what the problem was.

Szayel could imagine that Grimmjow thought he was completely content with everything he had now. Las Noches was essentially his, he was their King, and he had Kurosaki and Neliel to fill in his life. He was simply waiting for Grimmjow to lose his temper again and destroy them like he did to everything else around him. Il Forte would not be welcomed back into Grimmjow's circle again if he had anything to do about it.

"…Could you pass me my pants?" Kurosaki was still blushing and trying to look everywhere except at the people in the room. Neliel giggled next to him and worked her top back over her chest before hugging him closer to her.

"Let them worry about this. We'll get up and fix whatever Grimmjow's done stupidly in the morning." She took him and refitted the blankets around the both of them, clearly intending for them to go back to sleep.

"But what about them?!"

"We're still here you know!" Ichigo and Grimmjow spoke at the same time, louder than necessary, and getting red faced for entirely different reasons. Neliel waved the two of them out.

"Shut the door please~" Szayel grabbed the back of Grimmjow's shirt and dragged them outside. He still had no reason to make even more of an enemy out of Neliel no matter how amusing it was to watch the couple completely shut Grimmjow out. He really shouldn't be putting too many hopes in Kurosaki usurping everything Grimmjow had, but it was a comforting thought.

"The fuck is going on now?" Grimmjow was upset with being disrupted for anything that might have happened but he would just have to deal with that.

"You can't see what's wrong?"

"I can't see anything."

"That's the point. You've let your castle go into disrepair. I'm sure you can go back to your bed and wait for those two in the morning to fix everything. The other arrancars would appreciate that. I'm sorry for waking you up now." Before he could even turn around to smirk at Grimmjow, he was pinned against the wall and lifted off the floor. There weren't any charge of cero but that didn't mean it wasn't as dangerous. If he wasn't even able to physically fight shinigamis, he had absolutely no chance against Grimmjow who was taller and has a bigger built than him.

Steps down the hallways stopped whatever Grimmjow was going to say.

---

The door shut and Ichigo turned around to face Nel, besides wriggling out of her embrace. They were still very naked even if she had one of her shirts on because it really didn't change anything. Even from under the collar Ichigo saw the bite marks and bruises all over her neck and even her chest. He felt very ashamed for doing this to her and even being close to her now. She wanted to bring him close and he wanted to get away.

"Ichigo, what's wrong?" What was wrong? He fucked her in Grimmjow's bed and made her hurt. How could she stand to be close to him anymore? Ichigo didn't have a clue why he gave into everything he wanted to do to Neliel but it felt very good for him. She seemed content but he really didn't know if she was lying. Right now these blankets were stifling and he needed to get some space to breathe. The air, even though it had been lightened somewhat by Szayel's intrusion, smelled like sex and now she was just holding him like it was all okay.

"You alright?" She looked confused but dug her cheek into his shoulder to make up for the crappy pillow she's picked to lay on. Her mask, rough and course like bone, not porcelain scratched his face and head.

"I'm sorry Nel. I didn't mean to hurt you--" She cut him off with a kick from somewhere under the blankets.

"Oh don't even start that Ichigo. These marks," she moved and ran her head over the mottled black and blue skin, exposing more of herself. "Aren't like you eating a hollow. These are good and feel good for me and for you. It's a way of saying you care about me. Even humans do this too. Maybe not as vigorously… it's nothing bad Ichigo." His shoulders relaxed a little now that he knew he didn't hurt her.

"You really are, well were, a virgin weren't you?" She giggled and he spluttered not even knowing how to answer that. He was pretty sure his face was completely red again.

"Nel! Look I just don't know what I'm supposed to do." She let go of him and sat up a little.

"What was that about though?" Ichigo looked over his shoulder at the door where the other two had been standing.

"Oh. Grimmjow's an ass and so is Szayel." He snorted and tried to get comfortable in the sheets again; it wasn't working.

"Somehow I don't think that could be the answer to everything."

"Well if you try well enough it is. But don't worry about him so much. He's interested in you but only in the way a kid might have a crush on his teacher. He'll never really do anything about it besides a few playful nudges. It's just how he is." He was still bothered by a lot of this and fidgeted in bed. He kept thinking that he should be out there helping. Neliel sighed next to him.

"I know what you want. Go off and play nice with Grimmjow and Szayel. I'll catch up in the morning." He was pretty anxious and she was giving him the way out of the room. He rolled out of the bed and dived for his pants, trying to get his clothes on as quickly as he could.

"Woo-hoo!" Neliel was laughing from the bed and cheering at his getting dressed. Typical. He's trying to make this not as weird as it is and she's telling him to start stripping. He got the zipper to his shirt up and paused before he left the room. If waking up was embarrassing, this would just be even worse.

"Ichi-" He flash-stepped over to Nel's side and kissed her lightly on the lips and dashed out of the room. Let's just see what she would say about that later.

---

Grimmjow wasn't having a good night or morning. He was trying to be good and deal with his need to beat the ever loving shit out of everybody that was testing his grip on Las Noches and it just kept coming at him. Szayel was starting to turn blue and his pulse was pushing faster and faster as he chocked him.

It was lucky that Ichigo was tumbling down the hallway to catch up with them less red in the face and only slightly out of breath.

"Hey… er...sorry about that. I really didn't know that it was; you know…"

"My bed." He wasn't mad anymore. Somehow Ichigo had a way of either pissing him off or making him laugh. He was choking Szayel to death and he was staring there, starching the back of his neck in a nervous gesture about banging his new girlfriend on his bed.

"Don't sweat over it. You're staying the same rooms but keep it on your side already. I'm not having that shit in my bed unless I'm there too." Ichigo seemed a bit confused, like he didn't understand what he meant. It didn't matter because Neliel was having sex with him now and that should be enough to keep him here and distracted for a long while.

"What's wrong with him?" Szayel had made an effort to take this limply but it seemed like he needed air more than a little battle of wills. His gloves were sliding over Grimmjow's wrists in a futile attempt to get them off. Grimmjow let go and watched the other slide to the ground, taking gasps of air in as dignified of a manner as possible.

"Unreasonable brute. You wonder why your throne is already shaking. I assume you can figure out that the lights are all off, Kurosaki?" Grimmjow rolled his eyes and fell into a step behind Szayel and next to Ichigo. Let the bastard lead the way to the problem. It was enough that that he could keep an eye on the freak and keep him away from Ichigo long enough for him to figure out what kind, twisted fuck was living with them. If only he could be driven out as easily as Ulquiorra, but that was almost asking for too much.

"I don't actually need the two of you to follow me around like a few sad puppies looking for a bone. I'm sure Grimmjow here has a stash of something to gnaw on and, well, dear Neliel could probably keep you satisfied for a long enough." It was barley a second, but he and Kurosaki nearly jumped at him at the same time. They were going to fix this problem and let Szayel fester down in his labs for as long as they could. It was pretty much impossible to kill him in the long run and the freak would outlive them all.

He was obviously tainting Ichigo for the fun of it (practically everyone did, even that runt Pigfinn was getting the balls to make a comment or two) but he knew why Szayel wanted to fuck with him so much. Just because his brother was too weak to handle a shinigami didn't have anything to do with him. Il Forte had never been jealous of his brother being an Espada but everyone had seen Szayel's over compensation.

He would mock the strongest of them, even Halibel, and hide behind Aizen with valuable scientific research. He was worse than Ulquiorra and Neliel when it came to kissing ass where it mattered. Thankfully, Ichigo didn't have the humility to beg or butter him up for something. He either took it or killed it; Il Forte couldn't and Szayel can't.

He wasn't feeling any sympathy or any of them.

"The reiatsu that Aizen had left to run Las Noches has been used up. You two should probably go out and find a Gillian or something about as strong-- nothing weaker that would simply be useless. I can make it work from there. It's only a suggestion of course." Szayel did know his place in the pecking order now. Sly comments aside, he really could do nothing to them anymore than a few experimentations. He couldn't go after himself, he never could in the many times he tried liberating his brother from being his fraccion and he wasn't stupid enough to go after Kurosaki without an approval.

They might not be able to kill him but Neliel was enough of a bitch to make every day of his life hell.

"Could we just use our reiatsu to make it work?" They passed a few of the frenzied arrancar in groups, huddled near the floor lights still on for safety. If they couldn't see in the dark by now or evade predators it was all they could do.

It made Grimmjow feel great. They were gods to them now. They were all too weak to even handle the whole of Hueco Mundo and between the Sexta and the infamous Ryoka, none of these things would ever bother them or cause a real threat. They would have to fix that when others started encroaching on their power but that was enough of it. Even that bitch and her pet were like boogiemen to these things. Loly might eat some of them if they were in a bad enough mood.

"No, Kurosaki, because the reiatsu needs to be pure and untainted. Aizen was the one to program it all in and he was undoubtedly entirely a shinigami." Grimmjow nodded. The man didn't smell like a hollow or even have any of the tendencies of them.

"And we are all either an Arrancar or a Vizard. We're basically conglomerations of each other and it would disrupt the energy functioning. It would be all too simple otherwise." They were all familiar with that sort of joke where everything can go wrong. Just look at Ichigo. One minute he was the to-be-hero for all of the shinigami in the Seireitei and Earth and half a year late,r he's fucking one of Aizen's most loyal follower and being a denizens of the hollow world. Life was not as simple as should have been for him.

"Tch. You just get down there and start fixing the crap. We'll be back soon with a Gillian. Just have to go to the forest or something. C'mon." They reached a window and he jumped out all too happy to be free of the walls again. The fake sky was gone and made everything seem still in the dome. There was no pseudo sky and no light. Their little oasis in the desert was gone for now and it had a very surreal feel to like. Like a pretty cage for them all where some dipshits trying to remake their home.

"Race you to the second gate, Kurosaki." He started running before he finished talking but Ichigo was up to the challenge. They dipped and jumped over the rocks and pieces of rubble they'd made there and hadn't fixed it yet. He actually kind of like the messed up décor of the place and wasn't even sure if he wanted it to get better than this.

They were outside and real wind hit them in cold bursts picking themselves right up. It was always night and trips to the outside always made everyone inside feel warm and stifling again. This was the freedom he wanted but didn't want anymore. It would mean that he was the king of nothing and that he had no one with him.

The first gate was useless since it just led into a deeper part of Las Noches like the basement, only less useful. Aaroneiro thought it was a trap for shinigami to get a quick death sentence. He might have been right and Grimmjow didn't want to push it. Maybe he could send Loly down there to check everything out, just in case.

He didn't wait to see how close Ichigo was too him-- he could hear the rapid footsteps only so far back. The stairs were meaningless and he jumped down from them and consequently nearly rammed himself into the wall. That sharp left turn gave Ichigo enough time to pull out into the lead and reach the underground forest barely a second before he did. He was the one to hit the tree.

"There are a lot more here than last time." Black blobs crawled through the space, lonely and without minds. A couple turned over and saw them. There were about six or seven aware ones that might someday make it to adjuchas and change them into arrancars.

"Let's just pick one and kick it back into Las Noches. I think Szayel needs it alive for now." They picked one that was pretty close to them and alone. A hoard of gillians would be no trouble for them but it was the middle of the night and there was no fun in meaningless fights; especially when they had to bring this thing in alive. The hardest part was getting it through the gate, it would never fit through so they applied their minds together and came up with a solution. It wasn't a unique solution but it would work just fine. And really, having an entire gate there was stupid anyway. They might as well let the gillians roam above ground now.

"Kurosaki."

"Hmm?" Szayel had been happy with the same and things were starting to light up again. The fake sun in the dome was rising like it was the real time and weather. This whole excursion took the rest of the night they had but sleep would be waiting for them back at the room.

"Don't fucking go and change back now. Stay like this." Grimmjow was taking care of this now.

"I don't get what you mean?" Fucking dense to the world.

"Don't go back to being that bitchy little shinigami, okay? But don't think you can take away what's mine and we'll be fine." Ichigo started walking back to their rooms.

"I'm actually happy here. Not going to start and make trouble again. I've finally gotten used to everything and I even want to stay for a while. All of this," he looked back and forth in the empty hallway but Grimmjow knew what he meant, "is home now."


	9. The Horror, The Horror I

AN: Remember this story's influences being Dr. Moreau?

Beta: Confusion no Hime

Chapter Eight: The Horror, The Horror I

The year flash right by for Ichigo that he'd barely remembered what his brief days as a shinigami had been like. It made sense that so many of the hollows here would become new people between the consumption of other souls and the empty world around them.

Ulquiorra had come back. No one was very happy about that but he didn't do much to ruin what they had going. He merely asked if Grimmjow was seriously the king and if we were done catering to a shinigami. Nel said that he was getting better at the whole companionship thing but even that was said with a strained smile.

Nel. That was something he could really look forward to on the best and worst days in Las Noches. As shy and timid he'd been in the start of their relationship it went away with the weeks and efforts they'd put into each other. They knew each other very intimately, so much so that it was a joke sometimes with the others roaming around them. Everything was just so easy with her. She didn't laugh (much) when he was confused or nervous about something and he really didn't mind her occasional freak out or masochistic ways. He was pretty sure his dad was the reason he could even appreciate that.

He didn't know what his dad and sisters would think about any of this. The images in his head were blurry now and their voices were long gone. Yuzu and Karin would be closer to how old he had been- truly he didn't seem to age much but some small growth. This was his spiritual body and it wasn't going to age for quite a long time, like Toshiro had always been frustrated with. Was he? Maybe he enjoyed it. Their conversations really weren't telling now.

"Get down here Ichigo. Pigfinn's freaking out and Neliel can't get Margheir to calm down enough for it." Grimmjow looked very displeased and worried as they walked out of Szayel's open lab room. Szayel and Nel were trying to get Margheir to stop moving around so much because she'd released herself and her tentacles were getting in the way of everything. Ulquiorra was standing on the other side of the room waiting to execute the numerous if she got too dangerous; it was sadly necessary.

The first time it happened it was to a little thing, tall but too slight to really be considered strong enough to have any real damage to it. They were all eating in the communal cafeteria that day (except Grimmjow but he was out hunting as he usually did once a day) when Drummel started screaming.

He'd dropped his chopsticks and stared at his hand, his finger weren't separate and started melding into one. No one thought it was a real emergency but Nel insisted on getting him to what was left of the medical ward and had him checked out. They couldn't figure out what was wrong and Drummel started losing his ability to speak aside from grunts and gasps when prodded.

Then Szayel was called in to study. It was a given that the little guy was going down in a bad way so no one was too upset with the thought of him being tortured at Szayel's hand- he was in pain already. The mitt, because that's what the hand became, blacked to a Gillian's and moved up the rest of his arm, darkening the veins and killing the skin. Definitive features all over his face started to disappear along with his marks.

Szayel paled and demanded to get some alone time with this. They all forgot about it for a while until three months later when it happened to another weak arrancar. She was in the bath when black fog dispersed in her water- the guts were already dying and turning black like a Gillian's. Szayel finally told them what he'd been worried about.

"Arrancar aren't supposed to exist. Grimmjow was, sadly, right about the weakness being breed in now that we don't regress when we stopped eating. Instead of just reverting to mindless Gillian… we become rotted and die." Ulquiorra was dispassionate about it, shockingly enough, probably because he'd already died and found nothing of note on either side of the line.

Grimmjow was restless and he had to fight him almost to death to get him to calm down. After that he insisted that the 'weak-ass arrancar learn how to hunt' but some just didn't have it in them. It was like trying to turn an ant into a badger. If Aizen hadn't tampered with them some of these numerous would have been eaten years ago. Nel had been sort of calm about it but that night was eating a bit of a hollow Grimmjow left lying around. They didn't say anything about it because didn't normally do that but laid in bed that night not really getting any sleep.

Three more had died since then and now Margheir was doing the same thing. Now that everybody knows what was happening they panicked and screamed. Last time the numerous released and nearly killed Nel by accident. He'd taken off the thing's head but it hadn't felt right.

On the last time they tried using the Hyougyoku for the first time and try to stabilize the transformation but it didn't work and backfired horribly. The burn marks were still up and down Grimmjow's arm.

"How bad is he now?" The lab was a mess of blood. One of the next things they were trying was to cut off the limbs that were already degraded. From how rotten it smelled that wasn't working too well.

"Ichigo, maybe you should try to use the Hyougyoku this time…" Nel was pushing down on Margheir's tentacles trying to stop her from thrashing around- the black sludge was already pouring out of her mouth. She wouldn't be alive much longer.

"That would prove to be a mistake. He would not fair much better than Grimmjow." Ulquiorra answered for them while Szayel was busy trying to get the devolution to stop. Nothing had worked so far and it was really starting to scare some of them. You could even see the nervousness in the Espada's eyes.

Margheir finally gave out and all the rotten parts of her dripped to the floor before collapsing like rotten Gillian meat. Everyone looked queasy at the site, knowing that this was going to be their fate eventually. Might not be soon but they were all going to fall apart like this without even a chance to fight back.

But he wouldn't. Vizard didn't have this problem, at least not that he knew. But once they were dead he would be alone. Alone and watching every human like arrancar die in a bloody and rotten mess with no one else around to help pick him up. They were going to have to find a way to stop or reverse this as fast as they could.

---

"Someone's here." Ulquiorra looked outside of the wall where Neliel, Grimmjow, and he were talking. Ichigo was down in the basements helping to clean up the bodies and get the masses to calm down. Much like when the Ryoka first invaded there was the build up of pressure that signaled an entrance of some people that shouldn't be here.

"Who do you think it is?" The woman looked out the window as if that would help her figure who it was; obviously the distance was too far visually to discern the intruders, even what kind of intruders they were. It could simply be a powerful new hollow trying to stake claim in Las Noches, it might be shinigami. It might even be another creature like Kurosaki. Ulquiorra, though, knew one of the energies of their intruders. It would be impossible for him to not know it.

"Neliel come with me. We're going to check this to check this out right now. Don't tell Ichigo, got it?" Grimmjow looked at him like he had any intention of doing so. This entire place was a cage now. He would not allow Kuroskai to escape this hell, as wonderful as he had made it for himself. He should suffer from the distance between being useful and being a monster just as he had to. Ulquiorra turned around and went back to his corridor. No one had taken it from him and few visited him there. So far only Loly and Menoly were the only other ones that dared to walk in there freely. They lived there, too, at the wish of Aizen when they were watching her.

It was unbelievable, but there was a spark of familiarity in the intruder, there might have been another but it didn't matter.

What could possibly drive Orihime Inoue back to Las Noches after her hero saved her? Perhaps, maybe, it was a matter of the heart. His questions might finally be answered.

---

Something ran past them, much weaker, and almost invisible in the path of their soindo. It was probably a scouting companion of whoever was invading. They'd deal with it later once they assessed who was trying to get into Hueco Mundo, and so close to Las Noches too. It might have been a gate closer to the hundreds but it was their area.

Neliel hoped it wasn't what she feared for a year or so. The shinigami really wouldn't' decided to come back for Ichigo, would they? She was even over the initial anxiety of their relationship once Ichigo really committed himself to it; he certainly wasn't going to leave her there alone. Not after all of this. Plus… the shinigami wouldn't like what he became.

"This is crap…" They did not need another problem on top of their mortality coming back to haunt them. Ichigo was the one they didn't have to worry about and gave some of the little ones hope. Someone was walking in the sand at a clam pace. He obviously didn't care for any danger around him; the blonde man had the same feel as Ichigo.

"That silly girl ran a head. God this is going to be horrible." Grimmjow looked at her and she nodded. A quick burst behind him and she pulled out her sword. The man wanted to turn around but Grimmjow's blade stopped him.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my territory." He was still calm but a little nervous. Neliel wanted to end him right there before he could even try to get him to leave them, or worse bring their war back here. That was a shinigami affair now and it had nothing to do with them.

"My name is Rose. We didn't come here to start any trouble with you or to even fight you. The shinigami did something really stupid and we just want to bring Ichigo back with us…" Rose paused and looked at Las Noches before peeling his eyes back onto them.

"Is Ichigo even alive?" Grimmjow didn't answer and Rose asked again.

"Why do you even care? He's one of us now." Neliel dug her blade just a bit closer to the intruder's neck. They weren't taking her Ichigo away. He didn't belong to them anymore.

"Neliel." Grimmjow wasn't happy with it either but he was oddly calm with all of this; even grinning. Obviously he was more confident on Ichigo's loyalty than she was.

"Tch. You probably didn't notice who ran past us. Ichigo ain't going back with them and _they _aren't leaving." Rose moved to kick her in the face but they moved simultaneously to take him out, with little time for him to react. His head hit the floor of the sand by Grimmjow, but she made sure to wriggle her sword and mangle him as much as possible.

She didn't like shinigami (which he was, no matter how much he was like Ichigo) and she would kill anything that took her family away from her. Grimmjow smiled and laughed whole heartedly.

"Grimmjow why aren't we going after the other one? They might be talking to Ichigo already…"

"No need to worry about that. It's the god damn woman, Inoue. She's not gunna be happy about her _Kurosaki-kun_."

---

For a moment she wondered if she fell asleep in the bath again, her entire side was filled with an unnatural warmth that couldn't' be gotten by a bed sheet or even sharing what little body heart arrancar had. But the humid feeling wasn't in the air- something powerful was there around her and she was sitting there with her exposed belly to an enemy.

"Loly wake up! Loly!" Menoly was crying out for her but everything was in a daze. Her fingers flexed- wait. She was in one piece again, Loly felt the muscles in her lost arm and felt skin there. It wasn't a phantom limb with only the tingling feeling of loss anymore. She had a flesh hand again. But the only person that could do this would be the woman.

"You should be more careful. It isn't good to keep losing pieces of your self. Are you feeling alright now?" Loly shivered and felt the blood drain away from her in a tunnel vision. All she saw was the monster in front of her.

The Princess was something unnatural to even them. This thing was a human that didn't act like hollow, shinigami, or human. She had no will of her own and looked like a breeding cow. Meek and tame but too damn powerful. She scared them more than they would admit.

"Get away from me!" Her arm was back, she was thankful enough for that, but her skirt scuttered about with how quickly she had scampered backwards. Menoly was already up with her sword at the Princess' neck.

She hadn't changed much from the time away. She wasn't in the shinigami uniform but with the some grey colored hakama and a floral printed kimono. Slightly more composed and older looking but still the same spoiled Princess that no one wanted or liked.

"I don't want to fight. Could you just please tell me where Kurosaki-kun is and then I promise you I'll be gone forever." She hadn't got up and stayed on her knees, latterly begging them. It brought a kind of sick pleasure to both of them, Loly could feel the joy practically radiating off of Menoly. They had to fight for everything they had- this Princess got everything by smiling and few kind words.

She was a manipulative bitch and very good at it.

"Fuck you. Ichigo-sama is with us now." She appreciated him. They all did, since he curbed Grimmjow and always looked out for them when stronger enemies came too close to them. The girl in front of them stop and seemed shaken.

"No,no. I know what you're doing. It was the same as when I was here. You told my friends that I really changed. I'm not going to believe you." She got up and dusted her pants off. The Princess looked them in the eye and asked again where he was. Menoly couldn't hold in the laugh. She got up while her friend explained.

"No, he really is. Him and Neliel have been great together. Your Kurosaki didn't even try to go back to you; our Ichigo is like a brother to us." That dig worked and Inoue flinched.

"Y-youre lying…" They didn't even have to hit her to break her this time.

"Neliel is so happy, right? I mean he's an ideal guy. Likes girls with big chests and sweet smiles; he must see through this witch right here!" They pretended to have that conversation between them, anything to hurt her.

"Stop it! Don't talk about him like that!" The two girls wanted to continue but there was a hush over the room. It was their turn to leave now and explore what it was like to have two hands again.

---

Ulquiorra entered the room and nodded to the two. They left without another word, leaving him and her alone. She still hadn't noticed his presence. He was still nothing of notice to her, nothing to be seen or heard. She was muttering to himself and hadn't turned around. It was just like when she was trapped here.

"No, no. Kurosaki-"

"Do not even dare talking about that. There are other concerns to you besides Kurosaki." He'd scared her. She jumped and turned around to face him. She looked much more mature but that stupid naiveté was still there. It was a dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach when he realize she might still be too young to understand everything.

"You are alive…" Another pinch, and it hurt more and hurt upward. That damn heart was aching again. His continued existence was a mistake even on her part; she neither wondered nor cared about his status.

"Woman, I deserve answers from you." she pretended not to hear him or cared not too.

"Is Kurosaki-kun alive?" She blurted it out in a poor attempt to keep it inside. Sidestepped again. The world could be crashing around this woman and she still wouldn't care anything about him.

"Kurosaki is alive and well. I will show you too him upon answering my questions. Where is your heart?" She was shaking; at least that much was alike between the two of them. Their conversation was recalled to that last time before he died when Kurosaki interrupted them.

"My heart is with my friends and it's right here." It was docile and childlike when her hand pressed above her chest. She didn't look at him but over his shoulder. Probably hoping that the Kurosaki she remembered would come and sweep her away from the monster.

"Why did you do this to me? Why would you resurrect me to this and leave?" He had to know. Get a confirmation of something. It was only a false hope and he knew that, she seemed so driven for one side and one cause, the brief time as a psychological victim aside.

"You shouldn't have died like that. I just didn't want to see anyone destroyed in that way. But you said you'd show me Kurosaki-kun now." His heart wasn't hurting him anymore and all seemed normal. The dull feeling of nothingness, however extreme shivers and sweat might have been. He didn't know why he screamed.

"Isn't there anything in your heart for me!? You taunted me with your words about feelings and the bond between yourself and your friends knowing full well that arrancar do not understand such things. When we spoke in the throne room you waited for me and did not fight against myself, barely helping the boy along. For what reason did you bring me to life if your heart wasn't in it?" He was wrong about his heart, or maybe just a mention or thought of the word could bring something like that to life. Beating and beating and feeling the hyper awareness of humanity, of everything that gave friends and lovers that extra encouragement they needed to satisfy their craving.

The woman seemed appalled.

"I never meant it like that! I don't…I don't have any sort of feelings for you. You hurt my friends and you hurt _me_. I was scared and you knew it! I'm not going to let you or any of the others here try to change me again. None of you know me because you tried to break me!" He had only seen her this angry before she assaulted him. They were, for once, in equal proportions of clear understanding and emotional feelings.

"I understand. At the time, for a moment, you really believed that. Opposed to everything else you feel in your life I was a mistaken part of it. I supposes then, that all hearts can change?" Colder still. For a moment he wanted ot run away to the shelter of the others. Grimmjow and Kurosaki would not expect him to talk about feelings; they might even understand. Neliel would coddle him to make it seem okay. Such a heart can soften even when it hurts? Orihime Inoue wasn't even pretending to care about him anymore. This human anatomy did not make any realistic sense.

"Yes, hearts can change. Now I will show you to Kurosaki." He hated what became his heart. She, too, would hate hers and feel it. The rejection once Kurosaki doesn't became everything she had always dreamed and idolized about.

"Move faster."


	10. The Horror, The Horror II

AN: You know what stops updates? Your laptop breaking its internet connection. Thanks for everyone who has been with me for this story your reviews and favorites always make my heart warm up and blush.

Beta: Confusion no Hime

Chapter Nine : The Horror,The Horror II

Neliel had heard who had decided to pay them a little visit from Loly and Menoly as they walked past. Sure she'd heard it from Grimmjow before but it really set in now that Inoue was here, mostly likely to take Ichigo back to the human world now that the shinigami and everybody else needed him so much that they got over the fear of him. She didn't like it one bit. The girls (with four arms to prove it) said that Ulquiorra was going to bring her directly to Ichigo and set to cut them off thinking that maybe she could do some damage control. She hadn't ever felt this threatened but it was really a disappointing feeling. Her life would of course go on without Ichigo but it wasn't a separation she wanted to experience. She lost everything because of Nnoitra years ago and she wasn't going to let this human girl do it to her again.

"What are you doing with her, Ulquiorra?" They'd already been halfway down to where Ichigo was. Neliel had been under the impression that Ulquiorra was in love with Inoue, so why would he go out of his way to bring her to Ichigo? No, now he seemed even colder and if possible more dispassionate than ever. Inoue was great at breaking men to pieces, it seems, and maybe a bit more aware of it by how she was fidgeting under his guidance. Inoue thought Neliel's presence was a welcoming sign.

"Nel! You've made it alright! That means Kurosaki-kun is alright too…?"

"He was more than fine, Inoue, he's with me. "

The girls were laughing behind her and Inoue paled when she saw them behind his shoulder. Something in her stance must have said something she didn't because Grimmjow and Ichigo came up the stairs and started to comment.

"Shit, Neliel, put it away."

" Wait go for it! This'll be fun to see." Grimmjow was a dumbass. Ichigo was shocked to see Inoue here but laughed a little along with Grimmjow. They really hadn't seen her fight, after all. This meeting should have never have happened in a hallway for everybody to see. Oh god, the brightness of Inoue smile was almost sickening. It was making Ichigo look all too human again and being human would hurt him.

"Inoue?!" Gratefully they weren't on too familiar terms anymore. She looked over and saw a small smirk on Ulquiorra's face-- damn! He did have some kind of affection for Inoue but what was all this for? Grimmjow told the two behind her to scamper away and they did, leaving Ichigo alone and close to the girl. Oh, he was going to get a sound beating if this went to hell. She was shaking when Inoue cried out and flung herself onto Ichigo, hugging him tightly. Oh, what's this girl sobbing now? Ichigo wasn't a stranger to physicalities anymore but he stood there awkwardly with his arms somewhere in the air. He looked at her for permission, then confusion when his friend hadn't let go.

The one sided embrace ended and Ichigo walked away from Inoue, closer to herself, close enough for a quick kiss and a glance around the room. It was so naturally done because it wasn't a show or even hesitant. He didn't see the horrified look on the human's face but it was beautiful. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra did too, if what happened next was any indication.

"You've proven for yourself that hearts can change. Woman, what are you here for now?" They must have missed something from before because Ulquiorra looked…very smug. It was a foreign look and he was delighted with it especially considering how shattered Inoue was looking. Nel didn't have anything against the girl, really, but her being there was ruining her family and she would never let that happen again.

"What are you talking about? Inoue, how did you get here?" He didn't put it together yet. Within seconds of that there was a weight on her shoulder and Ichigo's-- Grimmjow was lounging on them, hovering more like it. Even Ichigo was amused by it now. Grimmjow was absolutely adorable when he was acting so protective over them.

"Kurosaki-kun I came here for you…" Mature body, the powers of a god, but still very much a child. Inoue continued, looking at the arrancar and then him like the world still rose and set with him for her.

"What did they do to you Kurosaki-kun? You don't look like yourself. Your hair hasn't been cut for a while. The clothes look like they've been lived in and not just put on to make them happy. And your skin looks different- like theirs!" Inoue was shaking now and Ulquiorra grabbed her elbow to drag her back from where they came from.

"Wait! Inoue I'm sorry but I know all that. This is me now." Neliel didn't expect Inoue to move so fast or to break out of Ulquiorra's grip but she was in front of them shoving Ichigo back with an unnatural aggression. Grimmjow snarled but didn't move from his perch behind them.

"This isn't Ichigo Kurosaki! Sado couldn't come here to go to you because he can't walk anymore! His arms are useless and he can't walk AND ISHIDA IS DEAD! Kurosaki-kun would have tried everything to save his friends. You-you! Whatever you are didn't even try to leave here. Did you?" Her face was red and she didn't wait for anyone to escort herself out, banging the door as she left.

The fragile little bird they'd kept here lost her race and came out of her shell. She was strong enough to get angry now even at those she loved.

"Fuck her. They didn't exactly come back for you did they? Probably left you here to die." Grimmjow pulled them back, practically holding Ichigo up. Szayel had left the room and Ulquiorra hurried after Inoue. Apparently he wasn't hurt enough by her to leave her alone.

"Ichigo, it'll be fine." He was like them now because he just sighed and leaned into the arms around him.

"We can always fix it later, right?"

Orihime didn't know what to do anymore. Rose was probably dead because she'd seen the blood on Grimmjow and Nel's sword. Kurosaki thought nothing of it. How far had they dragged him down like them? When he saved her from this mess he was afraid of himself, now he was a complacent friend. To who?

But months had passed since then. No mention of his friends, except Orihime, and absolutely nothing about the shinigami. It wasn't like he could expect Nel and the rest of the monsters to get really close with them but she mentioned it to no avail. She picked up on Ichigo's discontent but it was towards her and not Grimmjow hanging on him like…no. That would just be worse than just Nel.

"Come, we should talk more in a better place. There are still enemies here that you know." Like Loly and Menoly. Ulquiorra had followed her even when she wanted to leave her alone in the glorified dead palace. As they got further and further away from the heart of the place, the noise level dropped up making her feel a bit more at ease with everything. They didn't say through the trip only passing a few arrancar down the hall. None of them seemed keen on talking for long, especially when they caught sight of him.

"Here, change into something more fitting for this place. At least you were not foolish enough to come here in Shinigami garb." They got to her old room and Inoue thought she would never have had find it again. For how large Las Noches was, it was mostly corridors and large rooms that the hollows usually fought in.

"I'm not wearing that." There wasn't anything wrong with the outfit. It actually looked quite comfortable, but she wasn't going to start walking around Aizen's palace in the arrancar's colors, now that she finally found what she was going to do. She wasn't going to be a tool anymore for people to use. Not that she'd been much use recently….The next thing she saw was Ulquiorra standing right next to him and the top of his mask grazing her ear. She slapped him away again.

He didn't say anything but held his cheek which was starting to glow red. He still hadn't budged and threw the clothes at her. They weren't like the last dress but it was still constricting and not meant for battle or even healing. Just a pretty dress to stand around in.

"Get out."

"I do not think you are in any position to command me of anything. You have come here even more willingly than the last time and you have no way to leave. Your clothes will mark you as a stranger so change them." He hadn't moved like he was going to watch her get dressed just to make sure. This was cruel even for him.

"I'm leaving with Kuro-" Crack.

He'd hit her. Her cheek stung already and she had trouble swallowing down the tears. His hand was rough like sandpaper and possibly unaware of its own strength.

"Kurosaki remains here of his own will and his heart. If you wish to have any relation to Kurosaki you too will have to stay here. That is enough." Ulquiorra left the room and locked the door like so many times before.

Orihime fell to the ground and started crying again. She wasn't an almost adult anymore but a kid again, locked into the room and crying helplessly. Kurosaki-kun wasn't going to save her anymore.

She didn't change into her clothes but remained in there for hours before there was a careful knock at the door and someone just walking in. It wasn't any footsteps she'd recognized so she hid behind the couch.

"No need for hiding. I wouldn't be surprised to find that you were more capable of fighting than I am. I only wish to talk to you; Aizen would never let me for fear that I might not return you in the most pristine of conditions." Orihime gasped when the arrancar with long fingers and pink hair catch her from behind the couch.

"What do you want?"

"Your talents nothing else. Certainly less than Kurosaki. I apologize, that was completely uncalled for." He was grinning at her cruelly.

"Get out."

"What would you say that I knew of a way for Kurosaki to appreciate you more than any other person here? You've got a talent that we will find most useful. Want to see what it is…or would you rather wait here for Ulquiorra's beckoning?" That did it. Orihime got up and walked with the slight man, almost as small as her but far crueler. There was something disturbing about him that even Grimmjow didn't have.

"Where are we going?" They were walking slowly as if there was no hurry and making no great distance.

"Oh, just a small stop before we head to the labs. There are a few people that will be positively thrilled to find out your doing this for us." She wasn't as experienced as the other people here or even her shinigami friends but they were coming up to some powerful people, including Kurosaki-kun. It would be fine once she convinced him to come back to them and that it was all a mistake it would be fine. He'd be normal again.

"This is your warning." Szayel smirked even wider and softly tapped on a door before opening it. The smell hit her first and she didn't want to think about what it was. She'd never…but it was recognizable.

Her Kurosaki-kun was too far gone now to ever get back. There were three people in the room all involved- wasn't that disgusting enough?- and naked. Neliel was laying on top of the both sleeping soundly on Kurosaki's chest and close to him in a way that she never was. Grimmjow sleeping beneath Kurosaki all sprawled out under the covers and on the bed. Kurosaki was between the two of them content and in a dead sleeping.

It was pretty damn clear at what happened.

"Ah, you really weren't supposed to see this. I guess they comforted Ichigo after that mess this afternoon. We'll tell them after they wake up." She wasn't stupid. He made sure she saw them like this.

She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't going to cry.

"That girl is a witch." Menoly didn't care what Loly thought of the girl anymore- she was in one piece again and the arm was real. Maybe now she'd realize when to keep her mouth shut. Menoly hadn't been hugged this tightly in ages and always felt that she had to treat Loly delicately even when she shouldn't.

They'd nearly lost each other once when the Quincy archer got them away from Yammy's battle and then when Grimmjow decided to secure his position as their King. Her entire family had their problems with devotion. Telsa had his Nnoitra, she had her Loly. Aizen-sama had known enough not to separate them.

For as estranged as Hollows in Las Noches had been there weren't…families, but packs and groups had always came together. Hallibel had kept to her fraccion like Grimmjow and Barragan had. Yammy and Ulquiorra were friends and Szayel and Il forte had been siblings in a sense like her and Tesla. Aaroniero and Zomari had been the strange ones. Nothing to miss and no one to miss them. Loly had often talked about killing them for their spots but they could never do it. Maybe with the help of Szayel, but not otherwise.

Ichigo and Neliel came in as a pair with her fraccion as a side. That was normal too so they fit in. The witch had been something strange and lonely. When she was kept here people didn't know if they should eat her or be afraid.

"Why so quiet?" Loly slithered up her chest and kissed her. They were interrupted by someone crying around the corner.

"Oh, now what?" They weren't interrupted often but it always ticked Loly off. They got up and rounded the corner and the crying got louder. It was Pigfinn.

"Little baby what're you crying for?"

"Loly, don't say it like that…" Pigfinn's big eyes looked at them before he started wailing again. They saw his arms then, mottled with black spots and losing their color.

He was going to pieces, too.

Szayel didn't want to wake any of them up if the girl couldn't fix this. Loly and Menoly, her favorite people in this world, had dragged a shivering and pale Pigfinn down to his labs before he had time to get to the heart of the matters with Inoue. She, if she still retained her powers, could wake the Hyougyoku up and even possibly reverse the degeneration of the arrancar with constant attention.

Her desire was of course Ichigo in some way of form. Keep him dangled in front of her and she'll remain here as probably the only useful thing in the place. She could curb Ulquiorra's habits and bridge the gaps between what they had and what they were capable of.

If she had the sense of mind and confidence to do it was all of the questions.

"Loly, Menoly, strap him onto the table and do keep your bitchiness towards out guest down, understand me?" He didn't hamper them but that fear of non-existence did enough o get them to bite their tongues.

"What's wrong with him?" Concern. There was hope that she would help them if they could just get past the disgust the shinigami had fostered into her. The others might not have noticed it but the dispersion of spiritual particles around her were no longer the same-- with the Quincy they were always lower from constantly being drawn on. Humans barely had any and were also close and clinging to the center of the body, wrapped in a tight bundle as if it made anything permanent. A hollow wouldn't have many unless they were an arrancar. Sure they had spiritual pressure but very little of that originated from themselves; that might even be part of their problem…

But Inoue, now, didn't have the clinging particles of humanity but not quite as a shinigami yet. It was like a ribbon was wrapped around her like a cocoon and waiting for a butterfly to come out. When she died the Shinigami will scoop her up in an instant.

"We can't keep our shape anymore. That's why we want you to wake up the Hyougyoku and reverse this devolution of ours. This one here," he tapped on Pigfinn's shoulder, still pale and shaking, "is a favorite of Ichigo's. Dare to try your hand at this?"

Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to bait and taunt this girl before asking her to help them. She looked more composed but what she'd seen before stayed with her. Besides all that, she moved closer to the table.

"Kurosaki, can we talk?" He'd been avoiding her since the first day she arrived there. The air around them was tense and all the sounds of activity that had been going on around them ceased. Ever since Szayel utilized her powers to fully wake up the Hyougyoku and get rid of the degenerative disease, people had been avoiding her. In fact they treated her the same as they used to treat him; he was powerful but not bad to them. He was the one who checked Grimmjow when he was having a bad day and fixed up the place with Neliel. He was the one who diffused any discomfort that Ulquiorra brought. Picked them up and ran whenever Szayel walked down their way, that sort of thing.

"You…I don't know how you did this. The hollows here are monsters. No matter what they say they aren't like you or the other Vizards. Shinji thinks you're dead and a lot of people agree with him. No one really wants to think that their friend would stay here when we needed his help so much." Ichigo had never heard Inoue sound so bitter and disappointed. She had even been able to have affection for her brother who tried to kill her but this went too far for her.

She and Neliel were never in the same room and neither of them would tell him why.

"Inoue they like me however I am." There was never a question about what he is or was. He was just Ichigo to them.

"And you think any of us really cared? The only people who would have cared that you were a vizard were the ones that didn't know you. Now they'll never think anything else of you." He didn't know how to explain it to her. She was probably right in saying that his friends would never think differently about him but he saw how afraid she was. Byakuya was afraid at some point too and he'd been frightening to humans for years already. There. It was that thought. He already dissociated himself with people and told her so.

"You were scared." She had this odd look on her face like the thought never occurred to her. Suddenly she was beaming next to him and it was as if nothing had happened between them past last spring.

"Kurosaki-kun, I know how to fix this!" Nothing in the world was around them anymore- just the two of them. He had to stop her before she did it (he had a clue as to what it was). Thinking about his friends made him sad but he didn't want to leave Nel and Grimmjow behind. He wanted to look back at memories where they didn't hurt.

He didn't want-


	11. I'll Never Look Into Your Eyes, Again

AN: Final Chapter. Thanks for everyone's that reviewed, you've really made it fun writing this story. And I know that the recent change messed up formatting but that will take some time to fix.

"I hate you." Ichigo said, after a pause in their explanation. It wasn't quite the reunion that anyone was planning on and no one was satisfied with it. They were the First Division Cells waiting to see what would be done with him; whether or not he'd been a prisoner of war or went AWOL. The option of him being a traitor was also high on the list of might-be even though they had left him there in fear.

He didn't know anything about Aizen but the war was still going on. It was supposed to be funny, he thought, if Aizen was actually a God now and they were trying to fight it. Or maybe he was just a rebel leader lost somewhere between the worlds. Or maybe he'd lost so badly that he was just a boogieman to the Rukongai now. Ichigo didn't have a clue and no one would tell him. He didn't care anyway.

God, he was so hungry.

"Ichigo, we brought you something to eat." He was only allowed some many visitors at a time and Rukia was one of them, the first one to break through the crowds and stomp over to hug him and call him a fool before the shinigami that dragged him here gave her the okay. He hadn't meant to hurt her and still didn't. She would probably understand.

His fucking Dad was here though. Wearing the uniform like it was an old hat for him and a captain's cloak. He'd told him the whole story in the first day he'd been here. That's when they made their first mistake and thought he was happy to be here. Happy to be back with everyone that was either afraid or scared of him.

It was too loud here and too busy. There were always people coming and going even in the walls of the Seireitei and it was giving him a headache. He'd had the headache's on and off since Inoue, the other person in the room, tried to 'fix' him.

She was going to make Las Noches never happen. He'd simply be Ichigo Kurosaki, the substitute shinigami that was missing for a year or two and ready to fight hollows again. It didn't matter that they were his pack or kin or whatever the hell they were called. They had been something obscurely like a family.

In the bright haze of Inoue trying to take all that away from him, Ichigo tried to remember so many things and fought against it. He blacked out and appeared in the custody of the shinigami and the way to the Seireitei but it might just be her meddling again. He couldn't have known, but he liked to image that the reason she no longer has an arm and that half her face has been scarred, like nails raking across them was Nel's doing.

He saw the rice laying on the floor but it wasn't right. He was so hungry and nothing here was filling him. A few months ago he might have denied what was happening but he was strong enough to admit it; he was more hollow than shinigami now. The taste of another persons' spiritual energy was great and it would be the only thing to fill him up now. He'd gotten too used to it at his home.

"It's not what I'm looking for, Rukia." The other two were gone now- Inoue wouldn't show her face and Isshin nearly had his hand ripped off the last time he tried getting too close to the cell doors. Rukia gave him a sad smile and slid down as close as she could.

"I can tell." Ichigo didn't know what she was doing. She looked at him then looked away to the window and down to her, then it repeated.

"While you were gone a lot of people died. There are some people that thought that if you were here, fighting, it magically wouldn't have happened."

"And what do you think about that?" His voice was scratchy from so many reasons. Thirst and disuse might be two of them.

"I think that they're right. If you were here half the disaster that happened would have never gone by. You would never have let Kira try that attack and never have left behind so many people. But that's not what's important. You haven't changed at all." His head moved so fast that he thought he would have whiplash and he looked right at her. Everything that he might have expected it wasn't that.

"Even I know that's not true. Not even my dad can look me in the eyes right now. They probably looked more like a hollows. My skin is a strong as theirs and everything tastes different. Rukia...I am different." But he could pretend if he wanted to.

Urahara could probably give him something to keep the urges to eat other shinigami away. His dad and Yoruichi would fight with him and laugh about his resilient skin- he could laugh with his family again. He could have a life her very easily.

"You're going to die one day." Ichigo felt dizzy and weak from the lack of food but Rukia wasn't making any sense. It seemed that everything she was saying was random and had absolutely no meaning what so ever.

"Everybody does."

"...I'm going to let you escape from here and go back to your home. You did it for me and I know better than to make you stay here. You're going to die one day, maybe when another hollow finally gets to you or your friends there have all died and you can't take it anymore, but it will happen." She stopped and he saw that she was crying a little.

"Then I'm going to find you in the Rukongai and beat your ass until you remember all of us. Got me, Ichigo?"

She always did have a way of making the rain stop.

"Thanks..." He didn't want to linger or say anymore. The stench of shinigami was all around him and it was starting to cloak onto him, making him feel uncomfortable. A few figures waved to him as if they knew him and he made it to the outside.

It took a few seconds for him to get used to the sunlight again. He didn't like it. Down a few streets and into the guarded entrance to Heuco Mundo (Urahara had made one stationary just in case and about a year too late).

"Sir, you can't go in there." It was a low seated shinigami that had probably been warned about him. Ichigo saw him and the flavor seemed bland but he was weak and hungry and the sun was beating down on him uncomfortably- this wasn't tolerable anymore. In barely a blink he had the shinigami on his back and being torn in two. Ichigo's released were getting faster and faster and soon most of the shinigami was devoured.

It was a short sprint home.

He was going to rip something apart if this shit didn't end soon. Neliel wouldn't stop fucking moping around in that nest she and Ichigo made. His reaistu around it had almost faded like everything else when that Woman's shinigami dogs came to drag him away. There wasn't much left of the fortress either- they made sure of that, along with wiping out several dozen of the numeros around there.

Szayel said they could make more but that wasn't the point.

"The fuck did you two let her do this for?" He thought he could have fucking trusted Ulquiorra to keep the Woman busy. He'd helped out even less this part of reconstruction than the last time; mostly looking into vacant space.

"Let who do what?" Standing there like he owned the god damn place, was Kurosaki dressed in obscenely colored clothes of blue and green. Something in Grimmjow started panting and he was itching for a fight.

"Well looks like someone's decided that we're good enough to be with again. Fuck if I still want him here."

"What'd you say about me? C'mon here and say that again." The tick in Kurosaki's eyes was back and his hand was already on that dang sword of his.

"You're shinigami coddled you like a fucking pet. Don't' think you know how to fight anymore. Ulquiorra's much better at keeping the peace here than you ever were."He didn't know to who he was speaking to but they're eyes were in dead contact and in just a few seconds they will be off and-

"Ichigo!" Battering from the side and forced down from the broken wall, that bitch Neliel tackled him to the ground and practically dry humped Kurosaki.

"Can't you fuckers get a room...?" It was weak and he knew it but there wouldn't be any questioning about him being back with them. Before it had been a lie about Ulquiorra being better- he still hated that ass kissing bastard and Szayel still creeped him the fuck out.

But Neliel was going to throw a bitch fit if Kurosaki didn't stay. Then Szayel would set him off. Ulquiorra would start angsting again about Kurosaki being happy or something. That prick would be back here everyday going nah-nah-nah at him being thrown out of Las Noches like a shinigami but still fucking with this world.

Some of it might have been a stretch in his imagination.

"Hey, I said get a room you two! None of us want to see that!" Underneath the now ripped off shirt, Grimmjow saw a scar he'd made during their fights. Kurosaki didn't let the woman take it away.

He wasn't going anywhere.


End file.
